Starting Over Broken

Truck Doors and Tears

The door opens up and reveals a middle aged lady with short black hair and wide green eyes. She looks at me first with confusion written all over her face. Then her eyes wonder down to Fay. You can defiantly see where Fay gets her good looks from. The lady stares at Fay for a long time tears welding in her eyes. She looks up at me once again.
"Thank you" is all she says. Tears start to well at my eyes, I don't want her to to leave I love her and and I need her. She is the only thing keeping me sane; Fay is the only one that truly makes me happy. I want more than anything that she'll pick me over her mother once she knows it's her. I'm praying that she will.
"Fay..." Fay looks up at me with confusion in her eyes. "Thi-this is your mother" sniffling the snot back up my nose while the tears slowly drip down my face, Fay's mouth starts to slowly open like she wants to say something but the words can't be formed. She looks back and forth from me to her mom. I look up at Lisa and see that she so desperately wants to hug her child but she's waiting for some indication that Fay will let her. Lisa's hands slowly rise to her face and she drops to her knees. The sobs Lisa cried out were so loud they could be heard a mile away. Her hands still covered her face and her whole body was rocking Lisa then pushed herself into Fay's lap. Fay looked at me like she was silently asking for my help. I frowned down at her. Startled by a man talking both Fay and I looked in front of us. The man stopped in his tracks with a dish towel in hand he dropped it at the sight of Fay.
"My baby sister has come home!" Even from across the room I could see the gleam of light from tears starting in his eyes. A pan of guilt hit me in the face when Ron said this. Honestly why am I so selfish of others feelings and opinions.
I squatted to Lisa's level and slowly rubbed her back. Lisa picked up her head and looked at me, I could see the snot peaking out of her nose and tear stains covering her face the exemption of the tears rolling down her cheeks. She pushed herself onto me and embraced me tightly. I didn't know what to think at first but then she whispered in my ear. "Normally I wouldn't do this because I don't particularly like you but you brought I'm daughter back home safe I don't know how and I don't care, thank you Josh."
With that I wrapped my arms around her petite waist. I hadn't known how much I needed a hug like this one until now. I never want to let go.
Of this hug with Lisa,
Of this family,
Of their life,
Of Fay.
My arms swing down to my side and I step back. Fay watches me as my actions continue. I slowly step towards her and lean down near her ear.
"Hopefully I'll see you real soon but for right now this is farewell," my lips place a gentle peck on her forehead.
I stand up straight and turn to walk down the stairs and hop in my truck. As I crack up the rustic piece of junk I look at the sweet home that holds a nice family, a tear rolls down my right cheek. I need to get away from here before I loose my head. The truck rumbles going out of their drive way. The next two hours were spent driving around walking down the streets of strip malls just trying to drown out my thoughts with random things. It's clearly not working. I push my hand into the pockets of my pants and pull out my phone. I send a quick text to Nicole; in a matter of minutes I get a response back from her. I get into my truck and drive to where she is.

I knock three times on her front door just like I always do and open the door and walk into the cold house. Nicole likes it colder in her house. She tells me all the time she's cold blooded so it doesn't affect her; I laugh every time she says it. I usually bring a jacket but I forgot temporarily until just now when I walked into her house.
"Why do you always barge into my house like this? Nah I'm just kidding" She laughed  for a moment but then got serious, "how are you doing?" With the first part of the sentence she said, I could feel a chuckle roll off my tongue but when the second part came around, the room became duller by the passing second. I knew what she was referring to and I couldn't help but slump my shoulders and shuffle my feet towards the couch. My body goes limp and plops on the couch. "I don't know Nicole everything is changing, coming back, then changing again."
My eyes turn to my hands and my thumbs start to twiddle. Nicole sits in the chair across the room from me, " what do you mean?"
I tell her all thats gone on with Fay and there's a long pause and she sits up. "Josh stand up."
"Why,"
"Because I want you to stand up!"
"Okay..."
She stands up and walks over to me a and places her hands on my shoulders. She looks at me for about two point five seconds then starts violently shanking my shoulders. Causing me to jiggle profusely. Which is not okay because my flab is jiggling. A lot. I slap her arm and she let's go of me. I nod my head and we both sit back in our spots.
"Now that your awake and wondering why in the world did your dearest sister shake your shoulders until all your flab jiggled well yes I will tell you why. First you need to take back control. You can't keep downward spiraling like this, yes it's going to be hard to climb out of the pit that your were thrown in but please brother, try to get better. And secondly if you want Fay go and get her you said it yourself she a more comfortable with you right now than with her family so go get her before she remembers completely who she is and who you are." I'm stunned. Stunned at Nicole's words. Stunned that I didn't think of that before. Mostly I'm stunned that I'm still sitting here and not driving back into Fay's drive way. I get up and hug my sister, then I run out the door and start up my truck once again.