Battle Scars {Draco Malfoy}

Chapter Thirty Four

Clara's eyes widened in shock as she found herself in a lip locked moment with Draco. His hands were still holding the sides of her face as his lips were pressed against hers. She felt like screaming, melting and passing out all at once. Instead, her body remained still, almost to the point of rigidness under his touch. He must have sensed it as her body tensed and immediately pulled away from the kiss. His hands dropped to his sides and he looked away from her once he saw her eyes staring back at him.

He wasn't sure whether he should apologize for the moment, because he didn't want her to think he was sorry for kissing her, because he wasn't. But he was sorry for making her feel uncomfortable. She averted her gaze quickly as well once he broke the kiss and he could feel guilt swell up in his chest. Since arriving back to Hogwarts, Clara had become his first friend and if he wanted to think about it, she had been his first true friend in his entire life. She didn't care about blood status, how much money he had to his name, who his family was or even the horrible things he had done in the past. The only thing she seemed to care about was his well being, and perhaps he had read the signs wrong. Perhaps, Clara was just a friendly and kind person and he had taken advantage of that new feeling of warmth that emitted from her anytime she was around him.

He felt safe around her and he only wanted her to feel the same around him. But he figured he had just blown it. All possibilities of having an actual friendship had been tossed away when he went in to kiss her, all because he couldn't control his urges.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," he finally brought himself to say, he still wouldn't bring himself to look at her though. He didn't want to see the shock on her face because it only made him feel worse. "I just thought that maybe..maybe...never mind."

"Why did you kiss me?" he heard her whisper to him.

"What?"

"Why did you kiss me?" she repeated.

"What do you mean, why?!" he glanced back up her, his own expression holding confusion. "I thought it was obvious why I kissed you. It wasn't to shut you up or anything if that's what you were thinking. Do you really think I would do something like that?"

"No, I was just-"

"I kissed you because I like you, Clara. There's no other reason or ulterior motive."

"But my-" her hand reached up to touch the side of her face.

"I don't care about the scars. I told you before that I don't see them! Why don't you believe me?"

"I didn't say I didn't-"Clara said scooting back slightly as he neared her.

"I probably just ruined everything we had as a friendship, but...I couldn't help myself." he said looking down at his feet for a moment. "For so long, I felt so alone and trapped and no one seemed to understand. I don't think anyone tried to understand that. Then you came along, and even though it seemed the entire world had turned their back to me, you were the only one who welcomed me with a smile. Even though you walked away from the war with the worse scars-"

She swallowed and looked down.

"And I'm not talking about the ones on your face.' 

"Wha-" she glanced back up to see him looking directly at her.

"I'm talking about the fact that you were scarred because when you needed your friends most, they left you. When you needed support the most, everyone failed you. Yet rather than sitting around moping, you still take the initiative to help people. You help me, you help Abby and  you never expect anything in return. Why is that?"

Clara rubbed her hands over the top of her jeans before meeting his gaze.

"If the only reason you help someone is to gain something in return, then you shouldn't be helping people. The only thing a person should ever want is knowing that they did help someone and that's it. It's not all about getting something out of it, it's just about helping-" her breath caught in her throat as he was close to her again.

"You spend so much time helping people achieve what they want, so what do you want, Clara?"

She felt her face grow hot under his gaze as she tried to turn away from him again, but his hand was placed on her cheek as he wanted an answer from her.

"What do you want, Clara?" His eyes were scanning her face, waiting for a reply.

She muttered her answer but he couldn't make out what she said.

"What?"

"I said...I want you." she whispered. "I just want you..I want you to be happy...I want you to-"

"I am happy." he told her. "Whenever I'm around you, I'm happy."

"That's how I feel too." 

"Then..does that mean..what does it mean?" he said with a baffled expression.

"I think it means you should kiss me again."