Battle Scars {Draco Malfoy}

Chapter Thirty Eight

Clara was sure at any given moment that Abby would emerge from the Great Hall complaining about what was taking the two so long. However, Draco looked nowhere near ready to move. He still hadn't spoken a word to her as they sat in the window seat, no matter what question Clara asked him. She continued to sit there, twiddling her thumbs in her lap unable to shake the awkward air around them. 

Finally, after finding herself unable to handle the silence anymore, she turned to face him completely, taking both of his hands in hers. 

"Do you want to go on a walk or something?" she asked. "We don't have to stay in the castle. We could go outside. It just snowed. We can leave footprints in the snow before anyone else does. I'm not sure how that would cheer you up though, actually..now that I've heard myself say it out loud...I feel really stupid. Merlin, Clara, footprints in snow, really? That's what you come up with."

Suddenly, she heard Draco chuckle.

She looked to him with a small smile, thankful to see him cheer up even if it was just a laugh.

"Well, at least my stupid rambling got you to smile." she said.

"It wasn't stupid." he told her finally. "I..I actually want to go for a walk."

"Y-you do?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, well.. let me just go tell Abby that we'll be back later. I'm sure she'll understand."

Draco waited as Clara left to the Great Hall, she returned a couple of minutes later giving a thumbs up in his direction. 

"So do you want to walk outside or inside?"

"Uh..inside. I'm not exactly dressed to go outside." he said noting his attire. "And neither are you."

"Fair enough." she said before holding out her hand to him. He took her hand and she helped him up to his face before they began walking around the castle. 

With no destination in mind, they continued to wander.

"Was Abby upset that we delayed opening presents?" He asked her.

"No, not at all. I let her open the candy bag present. I figured it would keep her happy while we were gone." Clara admitted. "Although, I'm sure she's going to try to eat it all in one sitting, get a massive sugar high and then crash. We'll probably find her in the Great Hall whenever we go back."

Draco nodded. "I'm sure this is not how you wanted to spend your Christmas though...dealing with me."

She glanced over at him. "Dealing with you? You mean supporting you right? And no, I don't mind at all being around you especially when you're in need Draco. I don't know what upset you but I doubt you had control over it."

Draco suddenly sat down against one of the walls in the empty corridor, burying his face into his hands. Clara bit her lower lip, unsure of what she had said to upset him.

"I'm sorry." she said sitting down next to him," I didn't mean to upset you further. I just really don't know what's going on, Draco. I'm trying to understand.."

He didn't respond leaving the two to sit in silence again.

Draco heard shuffling beside him after a few minutes, making him look up to see what Clara was up to. As he lifted his head, he saw Clara lying with her back on the floor, her legs in the air propprws up against the wall. Her hands rested over her abdomen as she stared up at the ceiling.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Just relaxing." she answered. "This is oddly comfortable, and it's nice to look up at the ceiling."

She turned her head. "You should try it. You might like it."

"Uh.."

She patted the spot next to her. "Come on, you know you want to."

A couple of seconds later, Draco shifted and moved himself to copy Clara's position. With his legs resting against the wall, and looking up at the ceiling, he did start to feel better.

"This is surprisingly relaxing."

"I used to do this all the time with Sadie and Rebecca in the Hufflepuff common room. It started off with us trying to stand on our heads, but failing miserably."

"Why were you trying to stand on your head?" he asked her.

Clara opened her mouth but stopped for a second. "Well..I don't remember. We were probably bored one evening. We were only in second year. We did a lot of stupid stuff in the Hufflepuff Common Room. One time Rebecca nearly set her hair on fire because she nearly fell into the fireplace."

Draco's eyes widened. "You girls did some dangerous stuff apparently."

"Yeah." Clara said with a small smile before it faded.

"Do you miss them?"

"What?"

"Do you miss them?" Draco repeated.

Clara shrugged. "I miss making those memories, but I certainly don't miss them. Not right now. Not after they practically abandoned me. They were like sisters to me..and then one afternoon I receive letters from them, asking that I just keep my distance, and that our friendship was over. Some friends. I guess some good came out of it though. I'm able to focus on the good memories and just ignore the bad to the best of my abilities. Although some days it's easier than others."

"I don't know how you manage to do it." Draco said.

"It's not easy." She told him. "Because it's all about fighting the negative thoughts in your head and telling yourself that you deserve to be happy. And sometimes your mind tells you otherwise but you have to keep fighting it. Because before you can love anyone else and be happy in the presence of others, you have to love yourself and be happy with who you are."