Battle Scars {Draco Malfoy}

Chapter Forty

Clara drummed her fingertips against the table in the Great Hall the day after Christmas. She and Abby had a lovely little Christmas together tucked away in the Hufflepuff Common Room. They came down the Great Hall during dinner for the Christmas feast provided to the students and while Clara had hoped to see Draco, he didn't show up. Since he disappeared while Abby opened her present, she hadn't seen him. She didn't understand what was going on because he wouldn't tell her so she couldn't really help him. 

While Abby slept in that morning, she went to the Great Hall to get herself a cup of tea to soothe herself. However, as she fixed herself the cup, she didn't find herself drinking it. She rubbed her face before she flinched as she touched her scars. It was getting to the point where Clara found herself forgetting about the scars the majority of the time, unless she looked in the mirror or so her reflection. She was beginning to feel comfortable in her own skin again, but it was only at Hogwarts that she was feeling safe, she wasn't sure how she was going to feel once she ventured out of the castle.

She dropped her hand back to the table and sighed before looking up and jumping. She saw Draco sitting across from her. Once again, he looked incredibly tired raising concern but she wasn't sure if she was going to get a response out of him. She waited for him to speak first but he remained quiet staring down at the table.

Digging into her pocket, Clara had prepared in case he decided to show up, and pulled out Abby's small gift that she made for him. She placed it down in front of him.

"What's this?" he asked her.

"It's your Christmas gift from Abby." Clara answered.

Draco furrowed his brow slightly before picking it up and unwrapping the paper around it. As he opened it, he found the snowflake ornament before pressing his lips together.

"She made them. One for me and one for you. She's quite fond of her work too, so the next time you see her, you should give her a quick thank you."

"I'll...I'll do that." Draco said.

Clara said nothing else as she focused on her teacup.

"I didn't mean to walk off like I did yesterday." he suddenly said looking up at her. "I shouldn't have."

"Then why did you?" she asked him.

"I..It all felt weird to me." he said.

"Why?" She met his gaze. "It was just you spending time with Abby and I as usual."

"Because Christmas..." he shook his head. "The night before I hardly got any sleep because I just kept suffering from all these nightmares. These nightmares just won't leave me alone, they haunt me at night. I woke up feeling horrible..and then to see you and Abby all..in the Christmas spirit, it didn't feel right to me."

"It didn't feel right that Abby and I were in the Christmas spirit on Christmas Day?" she questioned.

"No, what I meant was, you two should have been enjoying it, but not me. I don't deserve that kind of happiness Clara-"

"Why do you believe in such things? Of course you deserve that kind of happiness, Draco. For Merlin's sake, you don't have to keep punishing yourself. Christmas is that time of year where families and friends come together, reminisce about the good of the world, even if the world isn't looking so great at the time. You've had nice Christmases before, haven't you?"

"Yes, back when I didn't deserve them. Back when I was absolutely horrid to people. I was spoiled around Christmas time, anything I asked for I received. No matter how mean I was to people it was like I was being rewarded for it every year. Then yesterday, I sit down with you and Abby. Abby is probably one of the nicest people I've ever met after you, and what does she get on Christmas? Nothing but a card from her mother? She got more gifts from you then from her own family. That's not right."

"Draco, you're missing the point, it's not about the gifts really. Abby was just thankful for the time we were able to spend with her. That's what she wanted. She doesn't care about gifts, she not a material person. The only thing she wanted to do last night was sing obnoxious Christmas carols and tell me all stories of Christmas that she learned about as a child. Sure, the jumper and the candy was a nice bonus for her, and I loved my ornament, but it was really just about spending time. That's why I didn't go home."

He bit the inside of his cheek as he understood what she was getting at.

"Do you want to be happy, Draco?"

" I don't deserve-"

"I wasn't asking if you believed in whether you deserved it or not. I'm asking you if you want to be happy?"

"Yes." he nodded.

"Can you say it out loud?"

"Say what out loud?"

"That you want to be happy."

"I want to be happy?"

"Louder and with a bit more confidence." she smiled.

"I want to be happy."

"I'm sorry I couldn't quite hear you."

"I want to be happy!" he said with a slight irritated tone.

"Good, so the next time when you're being hard on yourself and saying you don't deserve it, remind yourself that you want to be happy." she said before standing up from the table and leaving the Great Hall.

Clara headed down the corridor, unsure of where she was going as she had passed the way towards the Hufflepuff entrance way. She  kept her gaze focused on the floor as she tried to think of what she wanted to do for the rest of the day, but she was sure that it would be whatever Abby wanted to do once the girl woke up.

She suddenly heard the sound of footsteps behind her. She went to turn when she felt her arm being grabbed gently turning her around.

Nearly tripping over her own feet, Clara stumbled back hitting her back against the wall to come face to face with Draco.

"Wh-what are you doing?" she asked him.

"I want to be happy." he said with a stern expression.

"O-o-okay?"

"And you make me happy...."

"But-" She didn't gt to finish as Draco kissed her, pressing against her against the wall lightly.

"....so I want you."