He's just staring at me, no words, silence, but it still hurts, painful silence. Tormenting silence. I can't stand it. It's torturous. He looks different now, practically dead. He looks betrayed, hurt broken. He knows the horrible things I have done, but I told him that he'd never had to witness my madness. I look at him, and I choke, " I'm sorry... I'm sorry that you saw this, I'm sorry. My anger got the best of me. I couldn't think about loosing you, he went after you. He scared you, I couldn't let him hURT YOU!" I started to collapse in on myself. I grabbed my head in my hands and started to quiver. I got up from the table and headed up stairs, promises have been broken, the silence is gone, the trust, do I have any from him anymore? I closed the door behind me and sat on the edge of the bed.
Quiet. It's quiet. No talking, no movement, quiet. Not silent but quiet. It's been three hours since the problem arose, and I hear pitter patter of feet coming up the stairs, I put my head in my hands and look down. Too quiet, the pitter patter is gone, I can't hear it anymore. I slowly look up to see my boy looking at me, I'm twitching, I'm scared of what he will say. I don't want to be alone again. I have spent too much time with an alive being, that even when he first came to the house, the first month I got so attached to him, that I would have night terrors of him being taken or hurt. So I would walk to his room, cradle him in my arms, and bring him back to my room. After a few times of waking up next to me he just moved rooms and stayed with me. First few times I brought him to my room, he would wake in the morning and scream I would place my hand on his mouth and tell him it was ok. So trusting. So beautiful. But now I'm terrified of what would happen next.
I choke out "I'm sorry," and he replaces my hands with his rubbing the sides of my face I just melt into the sweet embrace and close my eyes. "I'm sorry my love please don't leave me alone." He starts to chuckle, I look up at him and he says, "that's about the weirdest thing that's ever came out of your mouth, and your a cannibal. 'Leave you alone'... Can that be used together in a sentence? I don't think that's correct grammar." He just starts to laugh and laugh, and I started to twitch and twitch. I finally grabbed him pulled him close and fell back on to the bed, and I even caught myself laughing, actually laughing, not a mad laugh, but a genuine loving laugh. "Well you could turn anyone into a cannibal, your so nice and sweet," I jokingly bite his neck gently while going 'om nom nom' he starts to squeak and laugh saying "help! My cannibalistic boyfriend is trying to eat me!" I froze... Boyfriend? I have always thought of him as a responsibility or a housemate, but a boyfriend was a fantastic fantasy for me, I never asked him what he thought of me as, mostly because of fear of rejection. But boyfriend, I'm honored. Confused of what exactly to do I squeezed him tightly repeating, " yes yes your boyfriend loves you yes." It felt weird to say it out loud. A cannibalistic murder who lives in a dark creepy house, in which smells like death, has acquired a boyfriend. But even more bazaar, he was dating the most beautiful being that has ever stepped into his life. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry love. I'm sorry I locked you in the ice box I'm sorry, we're you hurt? Oh my, are you still hurt?" The memory popes in my head and I felt horrible about it. "I'm fine. Haha I'm fine!" He starts to laugh, and I nuzzle my face into his neck.
We just payed there for a moment, then I felt weird, too much love for one day for me. Making me shake. "I'm going to go eat. Coming?" I start to get up and my little boy rolls onto the bed, looks up to me and speaks, "I cut up the man in the garage for you. Meat is on the table" I look at him and he continues, " no dark meat. I know you don't like it." My face contorted into a happy smile and I hug him so tightly that I cracked his back " you know me so well love!" I carry him down stairs and at about the last step he asks, "umm.." He paused and in a shaken up voice he continues,"Will," I froze, "when are you going to let me give you a nickname. I began, " as long as you never call me will again, you can give me one now." He pauses for a moment, "protector, or tec for short"
