One thing I can't tolerate is when the neighbors disrespect my privacy. Walking on my property and disregarding my rights. Disgusting. I get particularly... Upset, s we will call it, when they come to my property and mess with my boy. Watching my prize picking flowers and smiling, almost makes me smile, but I just start laughing. And laughing, louder and louder silence distorted, silence destroyed. I catch my self screaming shut up shut up, and I pierce my leg with the sharp blade in my back pocket. I start shaking and breathing heavily, I look up to see my poor child frightened, so I pull the blade out of my leg, wipe off the blood and walk over to him. He looks at me and dropped a flower. I retreated the lone plant and gently handed him the purple plant. He continues to look at me, so I sit down on the garden bench, everything was slightly fuzzy. I put my face in my hands, and breathe slowly; I feel something stroking my wounded leg and I slowly close my eyes, peaceful, silent, beautiful. After a few moments I hold the hand that was stroking my leg, I hold it tightly, lovingly, and stand up, towering over the small boy, I hold his other hand. No words, just silence, and I smile, he mirrors my action to go inside.
Twelve. Twelve a clock, lunch. I sit him down at the table, and began to make him a meal. Everything is blurry, but he is hungry, and I must make him something to eat. Stumbling around the kitchen for about a minute I bring him a poorly made sandwich, I'm not entirely clear on what I put into it, before he takes a bite I take from him to make sure I put only edible objects for him to eat. I take apart the sandwich, and pull out a razor blade I examine it for a moment and speak "this is why you don't rely on neighbors for food sweetie." I reassemble the sandwich and throw the razor on the floor. Blood everywhere bleeding and bleeding, I must wrap up my leg. But I cannot get up, " sweetie, once finished, pease get me a wrap, or a towel. My leg being a pain, love." He takes one look at my leg and runs to the first aid, "I said once fini- oh well. Please be careful, I haven't cleaned up the mess in there yet." It's quiet, and then I hear a scream, I rush to find what's a muck and I see one of my problems with arms around my prize, tightening grip around his neck and torso, my love crying of fright, enraged I disregard the face that my leg is sliced and I go straight for the filth. Grasping for his neck I slam the back of his head against the wall, releasing my prize and he scrambles to the door. Turning back to the filth I look at him and say, "sweetie, go Finnish your food, I'll be right there." As I hear him leave I pull the filth's head forward and back, forward and back, over and over repeating "you don't touch him. You don't touch him." Over and over again progressively getting louder and louder, slamming his head harder and harder, the noises getting me more and more upset until I snap. I bring my other hand to his neck and pull him close to my face. "If he is hurt, when I comeback, you better believe your dead. And I'll still beat you in hell, filth." With that I slam his head into the wall once more, knocking him out cold, and leaving a small hole in my wall. "Great I just fixed that damn wall," I grab the bandages and slam the door behind me, locking it shut. Returning to the table seeing my boy crying, I clench my teeth put the bandages next to him and head back to the room. Disregarding the locked door, and too angry to unlock it, with a few kicks it's open with a loud bang. One scream and then silence I walked out of the room dragging the body both of us covered in blood, I am panting and growling I drag him past the kitchen table in which my love is sitting, throwing the body in the garage. With one last slam of a door I go to sit back down at the table and began to wrap my leg. Noticing that he has stopped crying but he has a frightened look on his face. I broke a promise, never to let him see the stuff I do. But my rage got the best of me. He knows I'm a monster now, what I do, what I did. A new problem has arisen, and it's me.
