Donutdog

A long part bc we wrote loads and forgot about this whoops

I woke up (haha bitches you thought she was going to die)

The next day I had a sex ed lesson nice but we had a supply teacher I wonder who we have hmmm. evie was being a ibitch she kept sAYINB that she was triggered by everything so I decided not to talk to her and went to sit next to this girl who looks like shes constantly high.

Are u high said me

NO!!!!! Shescreeched in the happiest way possible for someone who is high bc its pretty obvious that she was high at this point,.

I wonmder my dearest friend what is your name, I shakespearianly asked her bc the author is trash

Haha why u being shakespearian more like ShHREKSPEARIAN NICE LETS MAKE THIS A THING

I didn't even know this girls name and she was talking to me about our overlord shrrek???? I was very confused by this and sstill didn't know the girls name.

Anyway my name is jrss said jrss

Jrss? Said me

Yes she said. Its jess but spelt wrong bc the author is in school and doesn't want teachers to see so shes typing fast.

Oh okay.

I then scoped evie with my orbs and saw that she was spitting on the floor and rolling around in it while saying rawrslime in a scene way repeatedly

WtF EVIE

I AM A SNAIL THIS IS WHAT IT IS LIKE FOR MY SNAIL BRETHERIN STFU HANNAH/ SAM NO ONE EVEN KNOWS WHICH ONE IS UR NAME!!!!111!! BECME A VEGAN AND KILL UR MUM LIKE I DID

I then decided to leave bc that's some fucked up shit right there

Just as I was about to leave I saw the supply teacher entering!!!

GOTTA BLAST I yelled while running to my seat on the otherside of thje classroom.

Hello class I am mr moooofat said mr moooofat I will be teaching you how to do the fucky today.

Ewwwwwwww yodeled evie who is triggered by metions of cows apaprently

Sir gave us a worksheet that no one did bc who needs an education anyway hahaha #yolo don't worry guys that's ironic bc im so #edgy and use hashtags in speech #coolguy

Mr moooooooo then decideded to tell us a story

STORYTIME WITH MR MOOOOFAT

Once when I was a young boy in the prehistoric times a dinosaur came and ate my fucking dog who here has a god I mean dog but same thing tbh.

I put my hand up bcx I have a dog his name is murray the puppppp is cute #buyhannahadogbcshestotesnotallertgictodogs2k16

AnyWAY

Yes well imagine ur dog being eaten by dinosaurs hannah/sam

That bitch teacher got another thing fucking coming for him if he thinks he can hurt my smol pupper murray that lil tit aint coming near him.

'What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across theUSA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.' I said hen he decided to tell a different story bc wow im amazing.

He told more dstories and then it was almost the end of the lesson and he was like okay class register nioceee

Ugh we all said bc its not like the register was going to take longer than 1 minute or something why do people get so angry about registers im pASSIONATE ABOUT THIS. What do non british people call register is it like roll call or smthg ahhhh

So mr moooooooooofat was like calluing names and then he was all like evie

And evie was like its Slime sir

And sir was like evie

And sluimeshe kept saying that her name was slime

Even though I think evies a bit stupid u gotta respect p[eoples names and pronouns life lessons with the author so I, sam/hannah was like

Sir slimeher name is slime

And sir was like that's what I said

FucKING LIAR BITCH

So he marked her in and was all like hahahha yeah bitch u think u some kinda snail or something

Yeah bitch said evie respect my life choices and shen she went on to lecture sir about otherkin and we all just bailed and lkeft him there.

It then dawned on the stupid ass mf that is the main character (aka me) that yesterday murray ate evies foot bc dogs eat meat wtf dogs cant be vegan,,,,.,.,.,.,,

So why does evie have two feet????? That's some spoopy asss shit right there.

So which slime is the real slime ,,, I wondered aloud

Then my crush walked past and I fell intoa dustbin like in every white teen movie ever same tbh.

This chapter is so shit like I just wanted to tell the world about the horrors that is irl storytime with mr moffat and this happened its not even done yet wtf am I doing what is the plot.

This story is about as well thought out as my life.

Js that im really allergic to like nuts and seeds but a couple days ago I got this nice strawberry jam snadwich (don't kinkshame me for liking jam sandwiches) and I didn't notice that the bread had seeds, and I was pretty sure I wasn't allergic to any of the seeds but I ate it anyway and sarah was just like dude don't eat the sandwich u gonna die. That's how well my d3cisions are thougght out.

But I ate it anyway and didn't die so nice

Altogether this whole story is over two thousand words long what is my life

I write this in my free periods bc I have nothing betterr to do nice. Okay I have seven minutes lets make some drama okay.

Oh hey sam/hannah said my crush

Oh hey said the me

I was wondering if u think evieIMEANSLIEM has been acting a bit weird lately.

Yeah said me again, I think she has been bc yesterday she tried to tell my dog to be vegan and pupper ate her foot, and I see no sign of a violently mauled foot. Idek prosthetics are getting good these days.

What??? Said crushguy

Oh yeah at like 4:20 bc I stayed in the library until after school

HAHAHA very funny said crush

Whats funny, I wondered

She was with me at 4:20, and I know this bc I told her blaze it and she was like okay sure then we got high with jrss who is probably going to make a bigger appearance in the next chapter but idk.

That cant be right....

THERE MUST BE TWO SLIMES111!!!!!11!!

Or u could just be lying. My crushwhodoesnthaveanamesaid

Nah baetch, bc evie is a vegan and think drugs are bad bc shes craycray like that

Sarahs taking back over nice haha

Maybe she is an imposter he said

trueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Suddenly evie imposter came over and told us wht was happening

My name isnt evie its john herschel

Im a slugkin but I was born without a shell I am reklly a snailkin

That's fine anf dandy john herschek but wheres evie

Well shes gone somehwere but it's a secret yiu have to find her yourself whoops...