The suicidal boy I mean everything to.

Chapter 12. He shouldn't wear shirts more often.

I woke up with a pounding headache but Bennet was gone. So much for forever and ever. I frowned at the headache and definitely was not going in to school. I walked to my bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. I held my hands on the basin and looked in the mirror at my face. I was a wreck, I definitely had the worst night ever followed by the worst morning after. I thought I should eat something so I untied my hair from the lose plait it was in, put on a small amount of make up and got dressed. I was wearing a white top with a blue cardigan and black skinny jeans. I walked down stairs and went straight to the kitchen to cook something. I stepped in the room and I saw Bennet. He turned around with a tray in his hand and went wide eyed. On the tray he had two slices of toast sandwich style with bacon in the middle.
"I was just bringing this up to you." He smiled sheepishly. His hair was disheveled and he only wore tracksuit bottoms. He shouldn't wear shirts more often. I don't remember him wearing those last night. I know he was wearing black skinny jeans and a light blue short sleeved shirt. Then I remembered he drove me home and he probably got them from his car. I smiled like and idiot at his small gesture and took the tray, I put it down on the table. I turned to him.
"What about yours?" That's when he turned around with another plate in his hands with the exact same thing.
"I hope you don't mind, I just thought I'd help you out, I'll pay for the food if you want." He said as he sat down.
"It's fine, I need to do the shopping soon anyway." I said just before I took a bite out of my food. It tasted really good. He watched me for my reaction. I lowered it and swallowed.
"Jesus Christ, can you cook for me everyday!" I said. He laughed and looked down. We ate the rest of our food in silence. I looked at the time and saw it was 10 o clock.
"What do you want to do today? You know, as we said neither of us would be returning to school today." He said to me, I frowned as I thought of any idea I could. Then my face lit up.
"When was the last time you went to the beach?" I asked him. "I know it's September and it's not exactly warm, but we are still getting a bit of the summer left overs. You can pick which one."
After we finished eating I went upstairs and packed 4 towels and my favourite bikini. Bennet said he had trunks in his car. He was in the kitchen making a picnic. I was so excited to get to know Bennet. He seems like such a nice and happy person, but I guess that's what e wants you to think. He isn't happy. I see it in his eyes all the time. I can see his past haunting him. He looks out for himself usually. It's my turn now. He has saved me twice now, it's about time I returned the favour. Last night when I told him everything, it felt good to let it all out, even better that he wasn't the usual company I keep. But when I told him about the Matt thing, it didn't feel right saying it aloud. Probably because I sound like a major slut but that's not the reason. When I told him I felt...
Guilty?

Bennet's POV
I couldn't honestly tell her. I wanted too. But I can't. If I told her then I'd have to explain everything else. It's not my story to tell so I can't say it. But I want to. Last night, when Ell told me everything, I realised I wasn't the only sufferer of pain. It kind of brought me safety to know things get better. Or do you just get easy at hiding things. When I drove Ell home last night, I hope she didn't notice how much I was shaking. It sound stupid but ever since my parents and sister died, you could say I get nervous around cars. I wasn't even in the car, but I just know how much destruction they can do. I don't want to end up like my sister. She was in a coma for 2 weeks then she died. Her last weeks of living and she wasn't even awake. She didn't even see me. Everyday it's like a carry a massive airplane full of 'what if's'. Like what if they didn't die. What if I died. All questions unanswered.
Ring ring.
I looked over and Ell left her phone down here. I looked at the caller and it was Jason. I know Ell well enough to know she won't want to talk to this bellend. I picked up for her.
"Ell's phone." I said in relaxed tone.
Can I speak to her? I heard Jason's voice and several others. I guess he turned up at school.
"She's ill, can I leave a message?"
Yeah, tell her I expect her tonight outside the school gates. And if she isn't there I'll be round her house.
"Alright, bye." I hung up and placed the phone down.
"Who was that?" I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned and saw Ell.
"It was... Er... It was Jay, I know you don't like him so I picked up for you. He didn't know it was me, so don't worry." She smiled at me.
"I'm not worried. I'm fine with you picking up my phone, and to be honest, with that phone call, rather you than me." She said. I smiled back at her and picked up the bag I put the food in.
"Ready?" I asked her. She smiled and made a squealing sound.
"Ready!"