Wasted [C.H]

Fools

At first, all I see is black but then it all comes flooding back to me. Suddenly my senses are on overdrive, I was feeling too much and hearing too much. I just wanted it all to end but then when I finally opened my eyes I realized there was something much more important to focus on. I crawled over to him praying that he was okay. His eyes were closed and so I started screaming. "Wake up, God damn it you have to wake up" All my frustration, pain and need for him
to wake up came out in those moments of begging. I repeated it like a mantra over and over again until my throat was raw. My eyes were burning, the pain in my lungs was growing unbearable but in that moment the only thing that could help me would be his two eyes open and staring back at me. I felt helpless and the walls were closing in on me. The air was suffocating but I kept on screaming because that's the only thing I had the ability to do.

It felt like of those moments in the movies where every other sound was drowned out and all I could hear was the fast pounding of my heart, my screaming and the faint sound of sirens that were just too late. My breathing was getting more shallow and black dots were dancing around my vision but I wasn't going to give in. This wasn't supposed to happen, this was supposed to be a great day and now I'm sitting here trying not to lose someone who's already gone. I was trying so hard to find some indication of life and I was pounding on his chest as if I could somehow force the life back into him. He shouldn't have given up so easy and it's unfair so unfair. All I could wonder was how did we end up here.

I just kept on screaming, even as the people got closer to me to try and pull me away from his body. I fought as hard as I could because I couldn't leave him, not now not when it's my fault. I wanted him to wake-up, to laugh at me and tell me how it was all some sick joke but he wouldn't open his eyes, why wouldn't he open his eyes? That image of his pale lifeless body is engrained into my head, one that would haunt me for years to come. I knew it was over at this point, he had yet to show any sign he was alive and the paramedics weren't trying to help him but I couldn't let go. I wasn't ready to face the fact that he was gone and so I continued to resist their attempts to take me away until I no longer had the energy to fight.

I could hear the voices of the paramedics all around me, mentions of shock, dead upon arrival and helping me but my mind was going fuzzy. Out of nowhere, it was like the air had been knocked out of me and I was left gasping for it like a fish on land. This continued on for minutes until I was bent over heaving anything I had eaten in the last twenty-four hours. I realized when I was no longer focused on him how much pain I was feeling all over my body. I had felt numb before and now I felt like I was dying. I finally had to give up and allow them to take me away from his body

In the moments after that where it felt like everything was going in slow motion, black was creeping in and the ringing in my ears had finally blocked out all of the other noise around me. I don't remember much except the pain and the panic that I felt. All I could think about before the blackness overtook was all the things I would never see or hear again. His sweet voice, contagious laugh or bright smile were gone from my life and nothing would ever be the same, I would never be the same.

~

After a long horrible day, all I wanted to do was go home. Of course, though as soon as I left the restaurant I worked at I ran into someone and landed on my butt. The pain from falling wouldn't have necessarily been so bad had I not had hot chocolate in my hand that proceeded to get all over me. The stranger gasped and tried helping me up, apologizing profusely in the process. I could have been rude about the fact that I had a 4 dollar hot chocolate all over me and in pain but rather I kindly smiled at him.

" Don't worry about it, It's fine I'm Maya by the way" and then I stuck my hand out. The stranger looked taken aback probably by the fact that I wasn't yelling but he extended his hand as well.

"Hi, I'm Calum Little did I know how this one moment would impact my life, for the good or for the bad I'm not sure.

"Listen, I know were strangers and all but would you mind if I took you to get a new drink?" He smiled sheepishly and I knew it was likely he still felt bad about knocking me down. I probably looked like a mess with hot chocolate all over me and the downpour of rain likely messing up my makeup. However, if he was willing to risk the embarrassment of being seen with me in public then I wasn't going to turn down a free drink. We could have been the perfect strangers, bumping into each other in passing and never seeing each other again but in those few seconds, we went from being unknown to forming a connection that had the ability to ruin anyone who came in contact with it.

I nodded my head and off we went. I'm not stupid I didn't get in his car or anything my mother taught me how dangerous strangers could be, instead, we walked to the coffee place a street or two down. The conversation between us was easy on the way there, it was like we weren't strangers who just met but rather lifelong friends who hadn't seen each other for a few months. I'm not going to be all dramatic and say we told each other secrets that no one had ever known about us but it wasn't awkward small talk about the weather. We found a medium and it was pretty enjoyable disregarding the fact that I was sticky and cold.

" So, Calum tell me about yourself" I had decided to start the conversation once we were sitting with down at the cafe like this, because well isn't this how most new friendships start? I really hoped so because god only knows I needed some of those. Luckily for me, he smiled and started talking about himself.

" Well, I'm twenty but I'm not gonna lie I probably have the maturity of a 10 year old, How about you" I had expected him to keep talking because that's what people typically do, I'm not used to being asked about myself. People just typically aren't interested in learning about me so I'm not even sure what to say.

"Um, I'm 19 and when I was little I wanted to be a princess when I grew up" That is not what I expected to say and if I wasn't already embarrassed enough by the evident hot chocolate stains all over that was just the cherry on top of the cake. I stumbled over words trying to correct my mistake and trying to hide the fact that my face was heating up.

" A princess huh? Maybe I can be your prince charming and whisk you away." He smirked and winked at me and if I wasn't red before there's a good chance I resembled a tomato after that comment. From there we kept talking, even after all the other customers had left and we were the only ones sat in the cafe. Finally, when the workers were threatening to kick us out did we leave. I was worried that I would never see Calum again but at that last moment before we parted ways he slipped his number into my pocket and left. A smile lingered on my face for the rest of the night.

So that's how I met Calum Hood and no it's not a glamorous tale by any means but it's ours and every story has to begin somewhere. What I didn't realize was that it also has to end somewhere.