When My Last White Rose Withers(one shot story) EDITED

Withered

I stared at the package that was waiting to be opened on top of my study table. My mom handed it to me when I got home from the hospital. May nagpa deliver daw. I ignored her worried stares when I came home. I couldn't feel my eyes anymore kaya I was sure it was swelling. Hinang- hina ako kaya nang tinanong niya kung anong nangyari, I just got the package from her hand and went straight to my room.

And now I was just lying on my bed, still wearing my uniform. I didn't bother changing. Wala akong lakas para kumilos and I was too tired to live. Wala na akong lakas para mabuhay.

Kanina, matapos kong mabasa ang sulat, para akong mababaliw. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko. He told me he loves me but.. but he wasn't here anymore. I will not be able to see him anymore. We would not be together. No.

My eyes stung so much. Gusto pa ata nitong umiyak pero pagod na. It was too tired to shed even a single tear. And the pain inside me was too deep that it was heart that had been crying silently.

 

See you soon.

My heart jolted as I remembered the last words of his letter. I didn't know when he exactly wrote the letter. It was probably several days ago or weeks ago. I don't know. But it was filled with so much hope. Hope that he'll see me again. Hope to see me soon.

And I wanted that hope. Gusto kong nabahaginan ng pag- asang yon. Because at my state right now, I wanted to hope for everything to be alright. I wanted to cling into something so I won't be falling to this dark pit for long.

Napatingin ako sa vase na puno ng mga nalantang puting rosas. It was beside the the last three white roses I got from him and the package.

The package.

I gathered my strength to get up at pagkatapos ay lumapit sa study table. I picked up the package. It was rectangular, wrapped in a brown paper bag. I tore the tape to see a sketchbook.

My heart eratically paced as I recognized the sketchpad. His sketchpad. Nico's sketchpad.

My hand trembled as I opened the sketchbook and flipped through pages.

Akala ko wala na akong iluluha pa but I guess I was wrong because my eyes welled up tears again. The sketchbook was filled of portraits of a person so familiar to me. The pencil strokes, the shadings. The life etched on the paper. It was his sketchbook filled with my portraits.

I flipped through every pages savoring the images drawn by his hand. Portraits of me in different angles, doing different things. But one thing is present in the entire set of drawn picture. One thing was the same. One thing was clearly evident in every drawing.

Happiness. I was happy in these portraits. I was happy because these are the moments I am with him. He may not be aware of my feelings during those times but he still captured my exact feelings. He saw my happiness.

When I first realized my feelings towards him, I got scared. I got scared because I just don't know how to tell him. I got scared for my heart. Sana hindi na ako natakot. Sana nasabi ko kaagad. Maybe, if I already found the courage as soon as I realized how I felt, maybe there would be less time wasted. Madami sanang panahon na magkasama kami. Nadamayan ko sana sya. There are a lot of regrets. Madami akong pinanghihinayangan. Time, specially. Pero hindi ako nanghihinayang na minahal ko sya. I would never regret investing my feelings to him. The circumstances may have pained me a lot but those times were also the times that I felt true happiness.

And I won't let those circumstances steal away what's left of our love. The love and the happiness he brought to my life would never be wasted. It will never forgotten. His love will always be my great love. Even when the last white rose withers.

And as I flipped through the last page, I smiled through tears. I ran my fingers to the words written at the bottom of the last portrait of me, smiling the happiest smile I ever seen. The words, written just under his signature.

"Long live. Live happy for me."

I will Nico. I will.

  ✿  ✿✿

So yeah, it was finished. malaya na kong makakatulog sa gabi nang walang gumugulo sa isip ko. Charing lang.  Thank you for taking your time reading this. Kung meron man. let us all live long and live happy. and i wanted to express my gratitude para sa mga taong naka- appreciate nito dati pa. thank you for putting up with the story. Thank you.

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At kung natolerate mo ang pagbabasa ng story na to, i would like to plug my other story. it is entitled "Incessant". Pwede na ding tawaging sequel ng WMLWRW pero i don't know kayo na magjudge kung pwede na nga :) salamat ulit *finger heart*