Swords Against Swords

Chapter Six

I wandered back to my chamber in a daze after Armaand and I parted ways. Sinking into my chair, I buried my face in my hands.

Marry Armaand?

Certainly, I would be happy living with him in Larrington. There was no doubt that choosing that path would be safe and secure.

But.

I didn't love him.

From what I could see, he loved me dearly, so wouldn't it be cruel of me to put him through a one-sided marriage? I do care for him, but not in the same way he cares for me. I couldn't hurt him in that manner.

Soon enough, there was an eager knock on my door. When the person didn't wait for my answer before entering, I knew it was my mother. "Well?" She chirped, teeming with curiosity. "Did he ask you? What did you say?"

"He asked me to marry him." I said astonished. Saying the words myself added weight to the entire atmosphere.

"Yes, yes, I know that but what did you say?" I could feel her aura bouncing inside her head.

"You knew?" I questioned, fixing her with a disapproving look.

"Of course I did, Clarisse. I'm your mother. The Prince sent word ahead of time that he would be arriving soon to ask for your hand."

I sat up and frowned at her, "Mother, how could you not tell me of something so important? At least a forewarning would have been nice."

She blinked as if in disbelief. "I didn't think you'd need any forewarning. You have been with Armaand for all your life—quite longer than you have been with me, frankly—so I only assumed that you would agree to marry him instantly...But now I see that I misspoke." She swallowed, "What did you tell him, then?"

"Well, I said that I'll need time to think."

Her smile faded. "Now why would you do that?"

"Mother, I'm only seventeen. Aren't I a little young to be married? After all, I just returned from my schooling."

"Nonsense!" She scoffed, "I was married to your father at fifteen, and I couldn't have been any happier. I was given everything I wanted after my marriage."

"But," I sighed, "That was your mentality. I'm too young to be married—I can't. There are still so many things I want to do, and I hardly think that getting married would allow me the freedom to spend my time how I wish."

"I hardly think that Armaand is so closed minded as to restrict your freedoms." Mother reached forward and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and placed her hand on top of mine. "So what is it that you really dislike about Armaand's proposal?"

I paused momentarily, surprised that she had seen right through me. For all the time I spent away from her and grew up, I didn't think she could still read me the same way she was able to do before I went to Larrington.

"Come now, I know that marrying Armaand isn't about how ready you are, so why don't you tell me what the real reason is?"

"I..." I started hesitantly, "Mother, I—" I bit the inside of my lip. "I don't love him. Not in the same way he does."

"Oh, my dear girl." She murmured softly, stroking my cheek gently. "I'm so sorry."

"How could I do that to him? I would be subjecting him to a life of one-sided feelings."

"Oh, Clarisse, you can't know that for certain. You could always develop feelings for him."

"No. I can't. How am I supposed to suddenly see him differently? He's only a friend—almost like a brother. That kind of love can't be changed so simply." I held my head in my hands.