A Daydream Away ➳ Phan

Four

Phil's world was falling apart, as Alice stood there with Dan, the boy that Phil had known for years now. The boy he shared his flat with. His best friend.

His whole universe, and the love of his life.

Phil bit his lip and looked away from Dan and the girl he was now dating. He couldn't bare to look at them any longer.

Phil felt the tears build up in his eyes, but he couldn't let them fall while the other two were right there. Instead, Phil stood up and went to his room, closing the door softly and just sitting on his bed. He let the tears fall from his pretty blue eyes, dropping on his jeans and the floor.

Phil let the tears cascade down his pale face, but held in his sobs. He couldn't let Dan find out he was crying.

Why did he have to be in love with his best friend? Out of all people, why his best friend? Why must he be fucking cursed to stand by and watch while the one he loves so fucking much go and love somebody else?

Oh, that's right, because he was Phil Lester.

He would never mean more than just a friend in Dan's eyes.

And damn it, Dan was so blind. So clueless. So oblivious to Phil's love for him. Even the fans saw it. No wonder they all called him 'Love Eyes Lester'. It was so fucking obvious.

And of course, Dan would be the only one that would be so blind to it.

But, Phil knew Dan was happy with Alice, and so if Dan was happy, then he'd have to force himself to be happy too. He'd have to force himself to be happy for them, as much as he felt like he was dying.

He doesn't have to share his universe with somebody else, because somebody else already stole it from him.

And Phil just sat there on his bed, crying silently because of the stupid pain in his stupid heart.

-

(Four weeks later)

His life was like hell.

Alice was always around, even in Dan's videos now, and Phil tried to be happy, he tried so fucking hard but he couldn't be. Not while Dan was loving somebody else.

And boy, did Dan show her how much he fucking loved her.

Phil heard it through the walls every single time, keeping him awake most of those nights, usually until dawn, due to the fact that he'd cry all night and couldn't sleep.

Those nights, Phil felt like his heart was shattering inside his chest, and it hurt. It physically hurt him.

It got to the point where honestly, he pretty much just lay in bed a lot, not doing much. He didn't leave his room that much and ate every now and then. He stopped making videos, really, but he couldn't bring himself to care at the time.

He cried a lot.

And Dan didn't really notice.

Phil kept a happy facade while Dan and Ailce were around, so of course Dan didn't notice. Even though the couple were barely around.

And apparently, Dan had been seeing her longer than Phil thought, and was keeping it a secret from everyone until they were ready to reveal their relationship to the world.

They'd been together for over seven months.

And god, did that hurt Phil a lot more.

Phil was lying in bed again, staring at the wall. Dan and Alice had gone to her place for the night to get some real alone time.