"seth green, 35. came in for a tumor removal from the neck. when we removed the tumor, we also had to remove some lymph nodes, which as you should know, usually protects the carotid artery. with the lymph nodes gone, seth is at risk for his artery to blow. it's your job to make sure that don't happen, briton." mereidth professional speaks. "yes mam. i can do that!" i reply back. she leaves the room, nodding and wishing me luck. "so seth, what do you like to do in your free time?" i weirdly ask. "uh..." he stuttered back. "i've had this tumor for a while now, so i haven't really done much except watch tv." i shake my head. "i'm so sorry! i should've known. if you'll excuse me, i am going to go check on some of my other patients." i escort myself out the door. 'what's wrong with you? huh? come on answer me' i think to myself. i spot dr. grey talking to the hot, floppy haired man in the corner. she's playing with his lab coat as they make their way into the on call room.
time passes and so do patients. i check on the same ones twice, repeatedly ask for labs, wait for dr. grey when i page her, but mostly, i watch time pass as i dream to go into an OR. i've work at this hospital for one week and all i do in my spare time is stalk the OR board. i check the clock. five after three; in the morning. i grab seth's chart and skim through it. everything seems alright, except one of the nurses noted he had three small noes bleeds around midnight. 'can i just go to sleep already?' i mentally smack myself. 'snap out of it briton.' i focus on the chart and think hard. 'symptoms of an artery bursting are, if you have a tracheostomy or laryngectomy stoma, bleeding may
come from the tube or stomach. there may be small bleeds that stop for a few hours or a day before the rupture, or' i loose my train of thought, but soon regain it. 'bleeding coming from the neck, mouth, or nose.' i forcefully drop the chart on the nurse station and demand someone to follow me with plenty of gauges and wrap. i page dr. grey, who probably will not answer it because she's off, "busy" with other doctors.
i rush into seth's room, but oddly, there is no blood dripping from his bed, nor is he choking in a puddle of his own blood. he is simply in bed, asleep, with the tv on. well, he was. "what's going on here?" he asked sleepily. "uh, uh, mr. green. i'm terribly sorry. i noticed on your chart you had some small noes bleeds early. i was just checking on you. sorry about all the noises and nurses. oh, and the lights that probably woke you up. i'll let you be. have a good night seth." i smile and make my way out. i exhale, exhausted and embarrassed. 'what is wrong with you! how stupid can you be, briton!' i remind myself, once again.
"i got your page. what's up?" dr. grey is behind me.
"oh, that. yeah, i noticed on seth green's chart that he had previous noes bleeds. i know that's a sign of a busted artery and-" i'm cut off by marilee, another one of dr. grey's interns. "sophia grace. 4 year old. came in for a ruptured appendix, but is coughing up blood. " she looks calmed, as for marilee, she looks frightened to death. "be like there, start her on 4 mg of morphine and get she prepped for surgery." i found it unbelievable that she knew exactly what to do and how to do it. it would have taken me all day to figure out what was wrong with her. "now, what was it briton?" she flipped her hair out of her eyes. "never mind dr. grey. i remember what i need to do. thanks" i fake a smile toward her and turn around, making my way to the vending machine.
it's around five in the morning, and i haven't gained any sleep. i have spied on the on call room for about an hour. no ones came in or out, so i walk near the door. i didn't hear anything, so instead of knocking, i walk in. inside, i see something no one ever wants to see. "dr. yang. dr. hunt." i spit out. "why don't you knock before you enter a public closed door." dr. yang blurts out. "im sorry, i'll be on my way now. uh, bye." i slam the door shut and slide down the wall. "oh my god, briton. what is your deal? how can i be so stupid yet a surgeon? i need to get my life together. starting now. i'm going to move out of my parents, get my own place, find a good, husband worth, boyfriend, settle down, get married, have kids, and live my life the right way." i close my eyes, trying to get some sleep. "so, briton. i'm josh. you want to live your life the right way?" i jolt up. "wait, did i say all that out loud?" the tall, handsome man chuckles. "every bit of it." he smiles and hold out his hand. "let's go get you some coffee." i take his hand and we walk down the halls, fetching some coffee and talking about ourselves.
god, he's hot.
"so yeah, then i told him to go get me something to eat and i totally ditched him." i laughed. we sat chatting for a while, then my pager went off. "i gotta go, it's my attending. here's my number, call me sometime!" i wrote it on a napkin, and ran off.
i reacher dr. grey and she told me where we were going. i picked up my pace. when i arrived at his room, blood was everywhere. seth was surrounded in his own puddle of blood, coughing and choking. "oh god, what do we do?" everyone else was to busy to answer me. i grabbed a gauze and applied pressure to the artery. 'dear god, tell me what to do. i'm clueless. maybe this isn't for me after all.'
"are you coming?" dr. grey questions.
"coming where?" i asked confused.
"to the OR. where else would we be going with this patient, covered in his own blood, dying, as we speak?"
"oh, yeah. of course i am"
'quit doubting yourself, briton. this is so the job for you. this rush was amazing'
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