Oblivious And Tangled

Why

"Why?" he demanded.

He kept repeating that word like it would turn into an answer itself.

"Why. Why. Why"he spoke again, softly this time.

Finally, she looked up at him for the first time in those few hours they were meant to stay together. Tears shining in her eyes and with a determined look on a face, she looked like a fighter. She looked as if she was fighting a war within her mind and heart. Even diamonds cannot look as beautiful as those big brown eyes he couldn't help but think.

And then, she spoke up,

"I dont know" she started slowly, in a bare whisper "I dont know. I love him. I do. I still do and I know that, but he is not what I want anymore. I am over the pain, the hurt he left with me. I am over the need of him. He still makes me feel like it was the first time I met him with all those goofy smiles and cocky attitude. But when I am alone, its not him anymore. Its not him my mind wanders to, its not that smile, not those words. Its just.. Its you. Do you get me? Its like my mind is in love with you, obssessed with you. Your words, your smile. Your attitude, your eyes. When I close my eyes, I do not see him with me in a perfect future but I see you, only you smiling simply with that calm and peace on your face, smiling like a kid. He was someone being with whom I would be happy, but you, you being happy makes me the happiest person ever.He became a need, the happy ending I wrote to myself but with you, you are something I would need for support. Something as crazy as love, as pure as it grows within me when I hear your name, it really does. I get jealous of all those girls you see. But what I have is not dependence. Maybe, I let him go,I know somewhere I accepted that defeat, losing him. And even today it pains but the thought of you erases it all away. Why? You ask. Why do I give such mixed signals? Because in the end I know its you. Its going to be you now. You are nothing like he was. You are a better version of me, and a better version of him for me standing infront of me, a mirror who makes me see how good even I can seem. It's just that if I admit, there wont be any turning back now. Maybe I will accept it like I did accept him as my need. But with you, I can still be me. Even when days pass, this obssession doesnt ever go. It just stays like a constant source of light to make me calm and collected. To heal what I broke. But do you see it will hurt when you also let go? If I told you what you became, things would never stay the same, and what if I lost you too? Because you see her in that light in which you will never see me. You think you did or you do but trust me, it will never be me."

And with this, she tried to escape her feelings once again. Leaving him there, standing alot and wondering what to do. Maybe he could stop her. Maybe he should. He was oblivious to all the pain she was going through, to the war which could never be won.

He was tangled in a web of thoughts. He was tangled among the thin line of his feelings for her and the girl she thought he loved. He was tangled and confused.

He was obliviously tangled.