1 a.m thoughts (poetry)

||Reality||

*More of a rant*
||Here's what I've been thinking about lately... I don't know how to put it in words, so sorry if I confuse you... I've lost interest in literally everything, my life is just a boring cycle with doses of sadness. My brain is fucking sick (I think) why do I listen/do/see/think shit that makes me sad, why my days pass doing nothing... I had dreams 2 years ago, its footprints are lost somewhere in the sand of time, washed by the harsh waves of reality, I'm losing my sanity, rat race is all this is... I've lost interest in eating, sleeping, talking and even writing. I don't have any talent, a perfect pretty face, money to spend or intelligence to show. I'm terrible at everything, I try really hard. I've had my life planned like 2 years ago, I don't know what I'll do now, I don't know what I'm good at... My parents think I'm eating less so I could stay healthy, I could care less about healthy, I just wanna be skinny. All the dreams I dream of, nothing is going to happen... As stated by a person close to me "You have lost interest in studies, probably gonna achive nothing, you are getting fat, you always show tantrum when you have to wax or bleach, your face is covered with acne, you are a girl so start cooking, looking good and start dieting... Who will marry you if you're 100kg, dark, full if acne ugly unsuccessful girl... Because you have to get an arranged marriage by the time you're 25... So act like a lady!"
So ya don't fucking say that I'm beautiful, great person BECAUSE I'M NOT!||