Nope. I straighten the tie a little more. That's better. "Are you ready?" Gemma asks, she stands behind me and through the mirror I can see her black dress.
"You look beautiful, Gem" I say and give her I a hug. We hop in the car and she drives us to this Italian place downtown. I haven't seen her since she went to college. We sit down at a table and wait for our parents to come. We came a little early since both of them were coming from work. I decide to text Louis because he worried me the last time we talked.
Me:
Hi
- Read 7:58
Me:
Why aren't you responding?
- Read 7:59
Me:
I know that you read it
- Delivered
Me:
Answer me!!
- Delivered
Me:
Answer me!!
- delivered
I slide my chair back and stand up. I ball my fingers into a fist. I feel like punching a wall.
"Excuse me for a second, Gem" I say and walk out of the restaurant. The cold air calms me down and I pace down the side walk. "Why is he doing this to me!" I scream. Nobody is around so I decide to punch the side of the building out of pure anger. " ah! Fuck" I scream and grab my fist. Pain stings all over my right hand. Tears threaten to slip down my cheeks.
I can't cry. Not here. Not now. I look up to the sky, but stop when I see a figure standing at the edge of the building, about to jump off. I sprint across the street and burst through the door. The first thing I see is a bar and on it sits a phone. The case looks familiar and it buzzes. I walk over and look at the screen.
Harry:
Answer me!!!!!
My heart stops. "Excuse me?" I ask the guy working at the bar, "where did this person go?"
"He went out the back door," he says and points to the back. The door is open and I sprint up the sets of stairs. The boards creaking underneath me.
My heart stop when I see him standing there. He just looks down at the ground waiting for a perfect time. a car horn beeps and a couple talks from below. My parents.
He ducks down so they don't suspect that anyone is up here. The talking stops and he stands back up again.
Tears threaten to come out, and i let them. "Louis please" I whisper,"don't do this."
It gives me all the courage to say that louder than a whisper. Tears stream down and sting my cheeks. "Louis please" I spat "don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to me"
Something in him changes, but he still stays there. "Please" I say and it turns out to be a whisper. I lose it because I'm going to loose him. He's going to jump and he's going to die.
The image of him on the ground, limbs everywhere- flashed through my mind. I try to shake it, but it won't leave me. He's going to be dead and it will be all my fault. I won't see his smile anymore. I won't hear his laugh filling the hallways. Or when he laughs so hard he covers his face. Or when he evens slaps his hand or stomps his feet. The way he was so nice people. The way he could constantly make my day without him even saying anything.
The way he made me feel; like home.
It will all be gone. All of it. I'll walk in and stare at an empty desk. And they day after that, he won't be there either. He will never come back, and I will know why. They'll announce his death during an assembly, and I'll be the only one who was there.
Everything that ever made me happy. Will be gone.
I sink to my knees and the tears come down more than ever now. arms wrap around me and I look up to see his face. "You're alive"
"I know" he whispers in my ear, "thank you. You saved me"
"Always" I say and he presses his lips to the my cheek.
"Cmon lets get out of here" I say, and grab his hand. I take his phone and pay his bill for his drinks. I hop into his car and drive him to my house.
***
"Hey sorry I left dinner I suddenly didn't feel so good. Wish gem a happy birthday for me. Tell her I love her. I'll be at home. Take your time, don't worry about me" I say and end the call. I knew they would put their phones on silent to spend time with Gemma, so I left them a voicemail. I put on a black t shirt, sweats and a beanie. I walk into the bathroom and find Louis throwing up. I kneel down to his side and rub his back. "It's okay. Let it all out babe" I say.
He stops throwing up and we walk to my room and I open the window, grabbing a blanket. I climb out onto the roof and wait for Louis to come. He looks at me, and then climbs towards me and sits next to me. I put the blanket over the both of us and we just lay down looking at the stars. After a couple minutes I decide to speak up. "Why?" I ask, sitting up.
After a few minutes of silence, he finally sits up, and clears his throat, still deciding what to say.
"I don't know. Everything around here is shattering into a million pieces. All the color there ever was, is now black and white." His voice becomes crackled and I can tell he is about to cry. I intertwine my fingers with his.
"My family is all dead, Harry. Gone. I have nothing. I don't have a house I barely have any money. I don't see what the point is. For any of this. It's all gone. All of it." Tears trickle down his cheek. I reach my thumb up and wipe them away. Tears threaten to come down my face, and once again I let them. There's no point in holding anything back now.
"You still have me" I whisper and press my lips to his. My lips linger there, and then I finally pull away. He looks over at me and smiles.
"You could quite possibly be the only thing keeping me sane" a laugh escapes my mouth.
I clear my throat and decide to change the subject. "So tomorrow. Where do I go?"
"you'll go to school" he winks, " I'll pick you up at 8:00" he stands up and walks towards the window that leads to my room.
"Where are you going?"
"That's a mystery to us all" he winks and disappears inside. I got to follow him and my the time I get out the front door. His car is already done.
***
"Hey honey, you doing alright?" She asks and feels my forehead.
"I'm fine mom. My head just hurt a little."
"We brought you some leftovers, 'cept we ate all the cake." Gemma comes over and messes up my hair, heading to her room.
"Of course you did... Happy birthday" I say as she closes her bedroom door.
"I'm going to bed." I say grabbing a water from the fridge, "oh and my friend is picking me up and taking me to school tomorrow," I say casually, taking a sip of water.
"Okay sweetie. Night"
"Night"
I walk up to my room, but can't fall asleep just yet. The events that happened tonight race through my mind, but not as much as the possibilities of what events will unfold tomorrow.
