Becoming Riley

Chapter 10: Hags and Fire

It had been five days since the news of Liam's death and Riley still didn't accept it as truth. She refused to attend classes, which were excused by her teachers and counselor, and she didn't show up to work anymore. It was like her mind dropped off the face of the planet. She couldn't cope properly because anywhere she looked Riley saw Liam. When she was in the backyard she saw the window they jumped out of that one night many years ago. When she would hug Sally she could only think of the times Liam and Riley played with each other as children. When she ate green beans that week she only imagined Liam trading his green beans for some of her meatloaf as they often did growing up with foods they disliked.

Riley finally stepped foot in his room the sixth day after his death. His funeral was tomorrow and she wanted to make sure Pajamas was buried with him. She pulled back the blanket hanging out that divided their rooms. Riley could still smell Liam's Axe body spray she hated. Now, she craved it next to her. Riley strolled to the bed in the center of the room and knelt down. She reached under Liam's bed and grabbed a box covered in dust bunnies and dead cockroaches. Riley pulled it out and opened it. Pajamas was gone.

"What the f-" Riley stopped. She felt a presence behind her. Michelle.

"Well, I know you're not looking for that raggedy old thing of a bear are you? Liam wouldn't want to be buried with that." Michelle smirked as she stood in the doorway.

"Where is it?" Demanded Riley. She didn't care for a beating anymore, she needed to find this bear.

"Outside. I'm surprised you haven't noticed how bare this room looks. Your father took a majority of Liam's memorabilia outside." Michelle checked her manicure that she obviously didn't work for as Riley scrambled to her feet.

"Why is some of Liam's stuff outside Michelle?" Riley was getting impatient. She felt like she was running out of time and something bad was about to happen.

"Excuse you? Didn't we teach you manners? IT'S MA'AM," Michelle smacks Riley across the face swiftly. Riley stood there, cocked her head back facing Michelle and asked unaffected, "WHY IS IT OUT THERE?"

Smoke. She smelled smoke flowing through the window. She glanced back at the once safe gateway and saw a bonfire in the backyard and James standing next to it with a box of Liam's items.

"No," gasped Riley as she tried to shove Michelle out of the doorway. "NO YOU CAN'T DO THIS." Michelle grabs Riley and throws her onto the bed. Riley leaps to the window and kicks the screen off the frame.

"YOUNG LADY WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING??" Michelle chases after her but she's too late. Riley is already out the window and didn't hesitate this time to jump off the ledge. She ran full speed to James. Unaware that his daughter was charging at him he tossed the box into the fire. Riley tackled James to the ground. For a one hundred and ten pound girl she took her two hundred pound father down faster than an Irish drunk on Saint Patty's Day.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME RILEY" James screeched as Riley jumps to the fire to grab the box. She burns her entire forearm and left hand. Riley didn't care. She needed Pajamas. She needed to find him. Just like she needed to find Liam and herself again.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? WHY ARE YOU BURNING LIAM'S STUFF?" Riley cries out as she opens the box. Most of the stuff is ash seeing as the bottom of the box burned through. Pajamas was only half a stuffed animal and no longer white and blue but black and well black.

"Your mother told me to. Said it'd help my grieving process seeing as it's not my fault you ran him off," James calmly speaks.

"I-I-I did NOT make him sneak out, I did NOT make him wish to not be here with you AND THAT HAG," Riley points at the now outside and standing by Michelle. She gasps at the name calling and then chuckles.

"Figures there would immaturity in her still. Ugh, look at her. She's just wanting attention, let her be the attention whore for the day James, then after that we let her know what's going to happen next." Michelle heads back inside. The burns start to kick in as Riley holds Pajamas.

"You deserve those burns, I hope they scar you up and cause you to grow old and alone," her father whispers to her as he follows Michelle's footsteps inside.

"What did I do, what did I do to deserve this?" Riley glances at Pajamas and begins to cry. Riley couldn't handle it anymore. She couldn't handle the stress of school, hiding Anastasia from her parents, losing Liam, and dealing with her parents. Riley decided in that moment, she was going to break it off with Anastasia tonight, over text. She decided that she no longer deemed herself fit to love anyone else. Riley felt reliable for Liam's death because she wasn't there anymore. She wasn't there. Riley was now there and Liam wasn't. She wanted to go where Liam went. Riley knew only one way to do that.

After sending the text to Anastasia and then turning her cellphone off Riley went into the bathroom. She opened the top cabinet where Michelle kept all her Xanax and Loratabs. She grabbed the nearest bottle and closed the cabinet. With tears in her eyes Riley looked at herself in the mirror. This was it, all the times she told herself to do it and she finally was going to.

KNOCK KNOCK!

"Get out, I have to piss," James spoke through the thin bathroom door.

Shit, Riley thought. Maybe not this time. Riley put the bottle back and fake flushed the toilet. She stepped out into the hallway to find no one out there. She walked past her father's bedroom to hear him passed out asleep. No way would he have gone to sleep after knocking two seconds ago.

What the fuck?

Riley then knew that was Liam who spoke through the door, not James. Terrified, Riley went into Liam's room and laid in his bed until she passed out around dawn.