Becoming Riley

Chapter 11: Faux Times

Riley wakes up the next day, freezing and exhausted. She crawls out of Liam's bed and strolls into her room. It's only 8:34 am and the funeral is at 2pm. Riley changes into her funeral attire, a black long sleeve with a white peter pan collar and a black skirt with matching black shoes.

"Today ought to be fun," Riley whispers to herself as she combs her hair thoroughly.

She was still devastated about the whole thing. Her brother dying, her parents not giving two shits about her, and now she despised Anastasia for robbing her of the little time she had left with Liam. Anastasia tried to call Riley several times. Voicemail after voicemail was left on Riley's phone, all involved one or the other: Anastasia crying and begging for her to talk to her or Anastasia screaming at her and calling her immature. Either way, Riley didn't care. She was done caring. The one thing she cared most about was gone. Riley felt no purpose in her life anymore. It wasn't to serve the Vern's, it wasn't to be Anastasia's hidden secret, and it definitely wasn't supposed to be like this.

Slowly but surely Riley was self-destructing and she knew it too. She didn't care. It was all about Liam, Liam was supposed to watch over Riley and in return she'd do the same. But she hadn't lately. And she knew it too.

Noon rolled around and the Vern's drove over to the funeral home on Broadway Street, where the services were being held. They had the casket it closed, and only a few people showed up from James' family but they all left within ten minutes except for one person. No one showed up on Michelle's side because she told them it wasn't worth driving over for a son that wasn't hers. Riley's grandmother was there, from her father's side, and noticed how silent Riley was.

"Usually people cry at funerals you know," Grandma Vern sniffled as she walked up to Riley. She sideways hugged and held Riley and Riley in turn laid her head on Grandma Vern's shoulder. There was a special bond between the two of them. Something no one could describe nor deny.

"Grandma, this wasn't my fault. You know that right?" Riley looked up at Grandma Vern with tears in her eyes. Her grandmother nodded her head and smiled weakly.

"You know you could come live with me up in Joplin, MO. I don't mind. I would love to have company more than just during the holidays. Or funerals." Grandma Vern looked around the empty room. It was plain, no decorations, no flowers, just a bleak black coffin and a broken family. Riley wanted out, she really did but Grandma was something she couldn't do. Grandma was forgetful that her new husband took such good care of her and she often ignored him as existing. Riley didn't want to watch her grandmother waste away slowly. So Riley politely smiled and told her three's company for them.

"All righty, I understand. *Sigh* Well, if you ever change your mind darling, you know how to contact me," Grandma Vern kisses Riley on the cheek and walks out the door. After about thirty minutes of just sitting there by the casket Michelle starts to moan.

"When are we gonna put this thing into the ground?" She impatiently demanded.

"Excuse you? My brother died and you're complaining about how he's not in the ground yet? You've got to be shitting me." Riley exuberates.

"Young lady, that is not how you talk to your mother especially in the presence of my dead son," James stands up and grabs Riley's arm forcibly. Riley knew that she was about to get slapped when James' cell starts to ring.

He answers it slowly, "Hello? Who the fuck is this?"

A minute of silence.

"Uh, huh. Really? No, she's not available. She won't be for a while. I can take a message but I won't guarantee it reaches her," James stares at Riley with such anger and hatred it chilled her to her bones.

"All right now, good bye Anastasia."

SHIT, thought Riley.

"Well, that was some interesting news. Since when did you become a dyke Riley?" James puts his cellphone in his pocket and strolls over to Riley. Riley backs up from him fearful of what could happen next. But she stepped one step too far back and hit the coffin on the table. The table began to wobble and immediately the coffin fell over. Shocked and completely devastated by the betrayal of Anastasia ratting her out to her parents and the coffin being knocked over Riley ran towards the door. Michelle tried to jump up from her chair and chase her but James stops her.

"Don't bother, she's not worth the struggle anymore," James goes towards the coffin and drags it back on the table. Michelle helps him and they tell the manager to go ahead and put him in the ground. They won't be there to watch him go into the earth. They'll be at home shooting up and drinking themselves away.

Riley runs outside and across the street to the rest stop. She hides inside the gas station's bathroom for a whole hour before she can finally stop crying. That and the gas station attendant told her they'd called the police if she didn't leave. She ruined Liam's funeral, Anastasia ruined her life at home even more than she thought was possible, and she couldn't handle being Riley anymore. She was done being Riley.