The Notes Of Hazel Stone

Take note

The picture up there is what Hazel looked like (played by Zendaya) she was originally played by someone else but then I was like, hmm watt pad needs more POC so I decided let's change it up xxxxx
I CAN'T SLEEP

No matter how many sheep I try and count or how many plates of spaghetti bolognese with chicken meatballs and a carefully measured amount of cheddar cheese sprinkled over it, I still can't seem to fall into a comfortable state of unconsciousness.

It is because of her.

Every time I close my eyes, I see her face - full of joy and potential, ; full of life, that is no more. The more I think about her the more I seem to want to stay awake forever, there's so much of her to remember.

A red light flashes from my bedside table - my digital clock, the dawning of a new hour. It reads : 00:00

Midnight.

I groan in frustration, I'd been trying to fall asleep since nine o'clock, when my dad came home, he'd been raging about how great the service had been, though I could hear the hint of disappointment in his voice. He'd asked me when I had written my speech, I replied never, and he proceeded to advice me to in the future have 'sieve' inappropriate language out of a formal speech, just to add that little edge of perfection.

I roll my eyes, remembering the tone he used when speaking to me,sickly sweet, as if I were baby. He hadn't spoken to me like that since I was five, he had always been straight to the chase, no beating around the bush or euphemistic language. Everyone was changing, they felt they needed to because Hazel was gone, as if her death had transformed me into a child again.

It hadn't affected me. It hadn't affected me.

I repeat the sentence in my head as if to reassure myself that I was the same old Amber, I could survive on my own. I could...really.

Tears threatened to spill out of my eyes as I moved into an embryonic sleeping position, cradling myself, as I remembered the time I had trouble sleeping and had crawled into Hazel's bed for comfort.

I slowly got out of my bed, making sure my footsteps were smooth and light so no-one would hear me, I couldn't have them thinking I was some silly little crybaby. After hours of tossing and turning I'd decided to sleep with Hazel - she wouldn't mind....well if she didn't notice.

I peered through the keyhole of Hazel's dark purple door - she was fast asleep: perfect. Cautiously, I pushed the door open and cringed when I heard the beginnings of a creak. I'd have to try and slide through the tiny gap I'd managed to create.

My petite body managed to slip it's way through the gap without making any further noise. My eyes darted around the room, clothes strung everywhere, make-up bag with it's contents emptied out along a bedside table, I rolled my eyes - typical Hazel.

I tip-toed toward my sisters bed, careful not to trip over the obstacles sprinkled all over the bedroom floor. When I had reached the foot of her bed, I hoisted my body over the end and crawled in next to her.

For 120 seconds there was a silence- she hadn't noticed me, if I managed to get out before she woke up, she would never know I had even been there.

"Couldn't sleep again?" a soft voice whispered, as I felt hot breath down my neck.

Should've known better.

I nodded, and turned to face her, her eyes were still closed as she muttered sleepily.

"You miss Mum as well?" I asked, distraught creeping into my voice, as I held back my tears.