Jump Then Fall [BoyxBoy]

Chapter Two - Fix You.

CHAPTER TWO. Fix You.

I didn't get any sleep that night, partially from being only an hour from having to go to school anyway by the time I got home, partially because I was still in awe of my very first sunrise. But there was something else as well. Something deeper. Taryn.

This boy, that I had never known in my entire life, had approached me at the end of my rope, at my lowest point, and literally brought me back from the dead. He had lifted my spirits when they were down too low for me to reach them, and for the first time in my whole miserable life, I felt as though someone understood me. It left me with a weird mixture of confusion and excitement. My every thought was full of him, his soft voice, his confident demeanor, his abnormally green eyes, his tearful words on the dock. No matter what I decided after this week, I knew I would go back and see him again anyway. I had to, I was actually anxious for the experience. Something about him was just so cool, so 'hidden'. And I just wanted to know more about him. Where he was from, what he liked to do, what he liked about walking around in the middle of the night, everything.

I spent the whole morning thinking of what to say to him the next time I saw him, I had so many questions, so many things I wanted to say to him. I was almost at the point of wanting to write it all down on a piece of paper so I wouldn't forget anything. It had been so long since I'd been this excited, since I felt so in tune with another person. In fact, it was that morning that I realized how long it had been since I felt anything. I started paying attention to the little things, just like he said, as I walked through the neighborhood streets. A blue sky, the laughter of children as I walked to school, the warmth of the spring sun, falling of green leaves to the concrete in front of me every so often. I had never noticed the vibrant colors and simple pleasures of an average day before. I looked at things with new eyes, and to be honest, it really was a sight to behold. It was almost a shame to go inside when I finally arrived at the school's front lawn.

As soon as I sat down in my classroom, still reeling from the tiny pleasures of life, things began to fall back into place. My teacher humiliated me right away for being four minutes late to class, the kids laughed at me, I felt spitballs being shot at me, hitting me in the back of the head. As soon as I turned around to tell them to stop, they only laughed again, pretending it wasn't them. All of them pointing the finger at someone else, with giant smiles on their faces. If only they knew how close they came to not having anyone to tease anymore last night. I tried to pay attention, but the sticky, wet paper wads hit me all at once, in a flurry from all directions. Sometimes it seemed like the whole class, maybe even the whole world, was in on the joke. Everyone but me. I had put up with so much. And I never understood why. Why had I become the target? Was it the way I looked? The slight squeak in my voice? My clothes, my hair? Did I piss somebody off somewhere along the way? What had I done to make them hate me so much that they all felt they needed to torment me every minute of the day? I'd readily apologize for whatever it was I did that was so unforgivable, if only I knew what it was. And as the spitballs continued to hit the back of my head, I felt my beautiful dream world shatter around me, and the misery and pain of life crept back into my eyes. Was Taryn better than me? How could he see the beauty in this?

I refused to turn around, refused to give them the satisfaction of letting those bastards know that they were basically breaking me down to almost nothing with their unprovoked hatred. But as hard as I tried to be strong, I just couldn't fight them all, I couldn't protect myself from their torture, and as I felt a particularly wet spitball splatter on the back of my neck, a quiet cheer and laughter following it, my once bright world turned black again. I leaned my head forward, trying to block out the pain, trying to see past the assholes behind me and think about all the reasons I had to live, to go on, to be strong. But they never stopped, and the more I ignored them, the worse it got, and not one other person in the class said anything to stop them. I leaned forward more, and silently began to cry, two small rivers of tears falling from each eye, and I quickly made an attempt to wipe them away before anyone saw me. But the tears kept welling up inside, and they seemed to come from my very soul, tortured and broken as it was. They might as well have been tears of blood, because they were more painful than the usual waterworks. I needed to get away, even if it was just for a few minutes.