Jump Then Fall [BoyxBoy]

Chapter Four - The Cave

CHAPTER FOUR. The Cave.

The alternative I've been searching for.

Those words stayed with me all night and through to the next day. I knew that Taryn had a weird way of putting things sometimes, but something about that statement rattled me to the bone. This was beyond curiosity now, this was an anxiety attack from hell. What was I getting myself into? What did he mean by 'alternative'? And why an abandoned car lot? So many questions. But one thing answered them all, one point that kept me alive and giddy for hours. I was going to be with Taryn, so who cares? He invited me. It caught me by surprise, but before I knew what had happened, I realized that I was smiling. Actually smiling! For no reason at all, I was laying in my bed, feeling this light energy stirring in my chest, almost bringing me to laugh, but not quite. It's like that feeling you get when your leg falls asleep. And it goes from being completely numb, to that annoying pain in a few seconds. But there's a transition in the middle, a feeling that tickles, and pulses, and it makes you feel really good. That neutral zone between feeling nothing and feeling pain. The sensation in my chest felt just like that, only a hundred times better.

Oh, get a hold of yourself, Justin!

Don't mess around and go gaga over some kid you just met. Remember the kid from the football game? I'll just be putting myself through the heartbreak machine again. And I don't want that. Not now. I'm actually feeling good for a change and I want it to last for as long as it possibly can.

Waiting for my mom to leave for work was unbearable. I pretended to go to school, but waited around the corner down the block. I figured that as soon as I saw my mother's car go by, the coast would be clear and I could grab my stuff. Finally, I saw the familiar rusted side of my mom's crap-mobile zoom past, and I high tailed it back to the house. I ran in, grabbed the suitcase out of the basement, and started packing. I wasn't quite sure what to take and what not to take. After being depressed for so long, I wasn't quite sure what it was that I deemed 'valuable' anymore. Hmm...some old photos might be nice, especially the one of me and Richie when he was still healthy. It was a picture of us in front of Buckingham Fountain, covered in a cool misty spray. He was such an awesome friend, we did everything together. I really should stop in to say goodbye once I figured out what Taryn had planned for me. Oops, I had been staring at it for a while now. Gotta keep packing.

It took me about two hours to really decide what to take and fit it into the suitcase and my backpack. I wondered if I should leave a note or something for my mom, but decided not to. I'd be back in a few days and I'd let her know that I was gone. So I took what I could carry, and waited down by the bus station until sunset. I didn't want my mother coming home and asking me where I was off to. I hope I had everything. I even brought my lucky coin, even though it never worked for me before. And this was it...my second chance. Please don't make this into another let down. I don't think I can stand too many more of those.

I took a little nap at the station, after all I haven't slept much in the past few days. When I woke up, the sun was almost gone, and I hopped a bus to the west side to meet up with Taryn. This just had to be some kind of set up. Maybe he was a gay basher or something, and the second I got there he was going to have a bunch of guys kick my ass. But at this point, I was so enraptured by him that I was willing to risk it. He was so beautiful, inside and out. I'm so damn goofy for falling for this, but I had to try. At this point I had nothing to lose.

The bus dropped me off a few blocks from the old junkyard, and I walked over. It was a quiet place, it seemed like the whole neighborhood was deserted. An urban ghost town with Chicago's sparkling backdrop. Only a few homeless people and a couple of rats crossed my path on the way over. I got to the gate and walked around the lot. There were piles and piles of old cars, rusted, smashed, broken in two...a cool place for a horror movie maybe. As the last of the suns rays disappeared over the horizon, I noticed that I was there completely alone. It was silent, with only a cool wind to greet me. Was this Taryn's idea of a joke? Maybe he was just late getting here. Maybe he was never coming. I'm such an idiot.