Angeli&Rikers; Derek Luh

prolo; caught

"Dear Nala Parker,

It's been six months since I've last seen you. I know you'll probably never wanna see or hear from me again but I'd really appreciate it if you could find it in your heart to let me see my daughter. I let you down big time and there's not one day that goes by and I'm not reminded of it. I don't know if there is anyway I could make it up to you; but I do know that my babygirl is three months today and I don't even know her name. Nala, baby, I am begging you to please, please allow me to see the beautiful life that we made.

You know I sit here every day and think about you, I miss your laugh, your pettiness and your love. I constantly ask myself, "What was so addictive about the situation that allowed me to neglect my baby?"

I sit here everyday, unsure if it's day or night, crushing my soul with the thought of you moving on and the thought of my daughter calling someone else daddy or you for that matter.

Words cannot explain how sorry I am, I should've listened to you, I should've put you and our baby first. I'll never forget that night where everything turned upside down.

I don't know if you care or not but my lawyer and I struck a deal for three years in prison and six years probation with one hundred hours community service.

I know it's a lot to ask for but can I please ask you to stick around until then?

I love you Nala, with all my heart.

Love,
Luh"

I read in tears, I don't understand what I did to deserve this.

I have a baby daddy in jail.

The night terrors I have frequently are more than enough of a reason to discontinue contact but a three month old daughter is an even better reason to stick around.

Every time I close my eyes I relive that night.

"I'll be back babe." Derek kissed my cheek then stomach.

"Derek you told me you were gonna get out of the game! I don't want my baby girl growing up having to talk to her father through a glass and a dirty phone." Derek rolled his eyes at my worrisome attitude.

"Baby I promised I was gonna get out of the game and I am. This is the last drop I'm making and I'm retiring, I promise."

Despite my doubts I let him go.

I let him go.

"Whatever Derek, I just hope you keep your promise because if I hear anything about another drop, I'm leaving." By my tone he knew I was as serious as ever.

He showered me with kisses, on my lips, on my neck, and my stomach. I was a complete mess for him.

"I'll be back by three." He left.

I sighed and got up to fix a sandwich as my baby was being a monster and wanted food.

As I bit into my sandwich, I hummed to my babygirl, her favorite song. She had the best taste in music just like her mother.

"You okay baby? I know I didn't even feed you for three whole hours. I'm such a monster." I rubbed my tummy, accommodating my monsters need.

"We're gonna watch our favorite show with Matthew Gray Grubler's sexy ass and then we're gonna go to sleep."

Mr. Scratch was the episode we were indulging in, and boy we were hooked. And the fact that Matthew directed the episode made it even more enjoyable.