Why Always Me?

Prologue

I gave a soft growl as the men in blue uniforms headed in my direction. They didn't seem very happy and frankly, I didn't entirely blame them. I did just make them come all the way out here to pull apart another one of my fights. The one was looking at me with pity in his eyes while the other looked as if he was about to murder me himself.

"Alyss. This needs to stop.."

The man, who watched me with pity, murmured in a soft tone. I rolled my yellow eyes, glaring at the man.

"Says who?"

"If you don't stop, we'll have to arrest you again or worse, we'll have to end up taking you to the hospital!"

The grumpy cop growled lowly, glaring right back at the red haired girl. I rolled my eyes again as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Whatever.. it's not my fault the guy pissed me off."

"Alyss.. you say that every time.. perhaps it's time you looked into some counselling..?"

"I'm good."

"Then stop getting into fights! You're lucky it's us tonight, Alyss! Anyone else would be hauling you to jail for the night. Now, get home and stop getting into fights!"

"Whatever..!"

I frowned, holding my hands up in a surrender like way before storming off towards my home.

Great.. I get to go home to a house full of idiots..

I lived with an old friend of mine and some of her friends. Her herself isn't that bad.. but the rest of them are completely annoying as hell. I scoffed to myself, turning onto the road.

This night is only going to get worse..
---
I sat there frozen in my normal corner of the café. My vision blurred, shaking at the sight of all the people in the room. I couldn't move. They were all too close. Too many. My normally empty café with filled with people tonight, likely due to their sale. I had came to work on some things but now that I'm here, I regret not just staying at home. My breathing picked up as more people entered the café. It was a smaller café that not many people knew about. I've been there enough times that the waiters all know me by name and order. I don't even have to speak that much. It's so simple. Now though, I feel sick. I want to run away. They're all staring at me.. laughing. I need help..
--
I strolled along the road, waving to the neighbors as I headed inside the house I lived at with all my friends. Well, all three were my friends. The last one was questionable. We fought more then actually got along. Chuckling to myself, I walked inside and shut the door, only to make my way straight for my bedroom. As soon as I made it to my room I shut the door, leaning against the wood heavily. My smile was replaced with a frown as my normal attitude attacked once more. I can always pretend around other but as soon as I'm alone.. everything hits me. I feel sick. Slowly, I slid to the ground, my head falling back against the door quietly. Sitting there on the ground, I curled into a ball. With the darkness and silence all around me, I sat there. There wasn't much else I could do. I was tired.. and all I wanted to do was fall asleep and stop pretending I was actually.. happy.
---
My boyfriend wasn't feeling good today so I figured I'd come make him feel better. I had a canister of soup in my bag and a bunch of crackers. I walked up the steps and opened the door, simply walking inside. There was noises coming from upstairs, figuring it was the TV in his room, I walked into the kitchen and put the soup and crackers on the counter in the kitchen before moving back towards the stairs. He's probably asleep. I'll wake him up and he'll be so happy to see me. I know he will. I grinned to myself as I opened the door to his bedroom. My eyes instantly widened in shock from what was before me. My boyfriend, the one who claimed to be sick was sitting there and making out with his ex. I covered my mouth, forcing myself not to gag at the sight. I must've made a noise because Cameron ripped himself away from his ex and watched me surprised. I turned and ran, surprising even myself on how much energy I had in my body. Cameron had played basketball while in highschool and was a super fast runner, so lets just say he easily caught up with me. Grabbing my arm, I spun in his hold so that I was facing him. Tears were streaming down my face as I struggled against his hold.

"Cass.."

"No..! Leave me alone, Cameron! You told me you were different!"

"I am!"

"No..! You're not..! You know I didn't want to be with someone like my dad..! You know I didn't want to deal with that kind of heartbreak..! You're just like the rest..! You use girls to get what you really want..! I was just to make it so you could back with her, wasn't I..?!"

I finally yanked my arm away from his hold and glared at him, pure ice slowly covering my heart.

"I never want to see you again, Cameron. We're over."

And with that, I ran once again but he didn't follow me. I guess what I said was right.
---
I sat there numbly, staring at the wall in front of me. Words and demons swirling around in my mind.

No one loves you.

Not really.

They all want you dead.

So, just do it already.

Kill yourself.

I frowned before standing, a sudden force pulling me towards my closet. I stood on my tippy toes and pulled out the box at the top of my closet before heading back towards my bed, making sure to lock the door as I pass. I sat down once more, unlocking the box with the key I wear around my neck. Inside were different things; old trinkets from my past, a few treasured pictures and memories but most important, was the small collection of multiple blades. I watched them for a moment before grabbing one and running it along my arm. The blood seeped out after each cut, dripping down my arm and onto the bed. I watched, greedy for more.

That's right.

You only need a while longer.

You can do it.