Haunted Things

Welcome to Himmel House. Now Get Out. (Liz)

THE DOORS OF HIMMEL HOUSE were made from huge slabs of Deadwood brought over from the heart of the Aokigahara, otherwise known as the Suicide Forest. 

Legend has it that on the boat ride a surprising number of sailors killed themselves. This trend seemed to follow the wood all the way across the country, even up to the installation. Before Daddy was murdered he used to talk about how the contractor hung the door and then shot himself in the head with a nail gun over and over and over.

It was really weird how the nails that missed his head formed a pattern that said DIE. Huh. Hadn't noticed that before. Anyway, after waiting a second or two for the doors to open up on their own, I gave up and manually pushed them open.

"Welcome to Himmel House," I intoned. "Built in 1870 by my great to the 10th granddad."

 Everyone crowded inside.  In front of us was the massive grand staircase, on which my grandfather bludgeoned my great uncle to death.  At the top landing was a life-sized marble statue of Hades in a chariot drawn by four horses, carrying off Persephone. Above our heads hung a massive, crystal encrusted, handmade chandelier.

"Wow. It doesn't look that big from the outside," commented the blonde hunk.

The chandelier was starting to sway. I carefully moved out from underneath it. "Weird, right?"

Jacon took a picture. "Is it an optical illusion? It's got to be an optical illusion."

"Sure," I replied. "It's an optical illusion."

"Wow...this place...wow." Elisha gaped as she looked around. "The floors are gorgeous. Are they mahogany?"

"Nope. Those are blood stains. It comes up through the floor at night." I carefully tiptoed around a particularly large spot. "Careful about stepping on them."

"Why?" Jacon chortled. "Will something bad happen?"

I glanced at him. His odds of surviving were dwindling fast; the house was never fond of hippie losers with misspelled names and sarcastic attitudes. "You'll stain your shoes. And probably go insane. But it's the shoes you really got to worry about."

The house shook and the disembodied voice growled, "GEEEEETTTTTTT OOOOOOUUUUTTTTTTT."

I smiled; man, did that brought back memories. "Come along, peeps, let's get you set up." I glanced back; to my surprise, the entire group was trying to pry open the doors. "What are you doing?"

"I, uh, I left something in the car," said the good looking guy. "I really need to go get it."

"Me too," said Elisha, her face pale with fear. "We'll be right back."

I noticed my husband was standing next to her, the dick.  Jacon was leaning his face on my husband's back and sobbing.

"Drake, where the hell are you going?" I asked.

"I'm going to help Elisha," he yelled over his shoulder. "Be right back, babe."

"Seriously?" I stared at them. "One disembodied voice and you all freak out like that? And you better stop touching the doors."

"Why...omigod, my hands...they're burning!" The blonde guy whirled around and stuck his hands out, horror on his face. "What the hell? What the hell was that? Make it stop!"

I rolled my eyes and pulled out a bottle of acid neutralizer I put in my purse at the last moment. "The doors have this weirdness where they ooze acid to anyone without Himmel DNA." I sprayed down his hands. "It's a deterrent."

Jacon blinked. "So you can open the doors? Open the doors, then." He reached for me, but I dodged him. "Open the damn doors!"

"No, no, not just yet. Come on, you guys. You're fearless ghost hunters." I pointed down the dark hallway. "Come on. Let's go to the basement. It's really haunted in the basement."