Haunted Things

Smells Like Zombasaur Spirit (Liz)

A zombie T-Rex. That's new.

The Himmell House was a portal to the hell dimensions. Throughout the years we'd seen our fair share of horror, but a zombie T-Rex was a first.

At least I thought it was a first. As it carried me up the stairs in its tiny little stupid claw, I went through my mental Rolodex of the various beasties and family members that called Himmell House home. Of course there were zombies. Some were brain eaters; others stood around in a sort of ennui over being dead but not. There were also demons - corporal and non-corporal - ghosts, vampires - both the sexy pretty kind and the hideous and ugly kind - man-eating plants, man-eating blobs, aliens, shapeshifters...hold the gravy.  What if this thing was a shapeshifter? I had some family members that would get a kick out of being a zombie dinosaur.

Granted, they were dead relatives, but death isn't the end at Himmell House.

I stopped screaming and yelled, "Hey, night of the living dinosaur, are you a shapeshifter?"

It turned its colossal sized head slightly to the side and gazed at me with a red eye. "Wwww...uuuu...tttt...ssszzz."

"Whats?" I repeated. "Whats what?"

"Wwwwww....uuuuu...tttt....ssssszzzz."

"Yeah, I got that." I nodded. "What's what?"

"WWWWWW....UUUUU...TTTTTT...SSSSSSSZZZZZ," it roared.

"Shhh, indoor voice," I hushed. "Indoor voice."

"Wwuuttssszzz. Wwwiiinnter wwwuuttssszzz."

I nodded knowingly. "I see."

It rolled its red eye and continued hauling me towards the third floor.

"Now, I got to admit, Zombasaur...you don't mind if I call you Zombasaur, right?" When it didn't answer, I continued, "I got to admit, I'm getting a kick out of being kidnapped by a zombie dinosaur. Hey...do you know Sue?" I kicked it in the pit. "Do you know Sue? The T-Rex in Chicago?"

It glanced at me balefully with its red zombie dinosaur eye.

"What? You're a T-Rex, Sue's a T-Rex. You might have known each other. Whatever." I rolled myself around in its claw. "You know, you got yourself some stupid short arms here, bucko. Stupid short." I kicked my leg through its claw and measured my leg against the arm. "Dude, check it. My leg is almost as long as your arm!"

Zombasaur growled and tried to eat my leg.

"Aw! You can't reach it, can you?" I tapped his chin. "You can't reach..." I was seized by a horrible coughing fit. "Dude, your breath, oh for the love –"

The floor shook, followed by a loud cracking. Zombasaur stopped moving; its eye looking at me quizzically.

"Hold on, Zomasaur!" I screeched. "We're going down..."

The floor dropped out from beneath us,  and Zombasaur and I fell.

We fell and fell. And fell and fell. And fell. Eventually Zombasaur unclutched his stupid mini-claw and I floated out and maneuvered my way above him to sit on his head. We continued to fall and fall. And fall and fall. And fall.

When we hit the ground, Zombasaur landed face first, taking out a grove of trees. I landed on top of him. "Wheee! Zombasaur! That was fun!"

Zombasaur gurgled, his front side buried in mud and dirt. I wondered if it was now finally dead, so I kicked it a few times in the head. After a minute or two of kicking I heard something like either a moan or stop it. "Zombasaur! You're still stuck in your body. Righteous."