How We Unfold (SherlockBBC; Johnlock)

Chapter 6: A Second Try

Mary

Last night was humiliating, and worrying. I wasn't going for a repeat of that. I mindlessly toil with my keys as the ringing of John's phone echoes in my ear. I don't expect him to answer, it's painfully early in the morning. I just thought I might as well leave a voicemail for him before I go in to work.

The sharp ringing abruptly cuts off and Johns tired voice replaces it, "Mary?"

I stand up straighter, a little surprised, "Oh, John. I hope I didn't wake you. I meant to leave a message-"

"Look, I'm sorry." He cuts in, his voice is heavy, "I was working, I got caught up in the case."

I'm silent for a moment, trying not to get upset with him, trying not to think about how it felt to be left alone like that. I take a breath, "John, I didn't know if you were alright- if something might have happened. Or if, maybe, you didn't want to come over. You've been distant, John." I try to hide the frustration in my voice. But I'm exasperated.

"I- I know. And I am sorry, I've been really involved in some cases with Lestrade-"

"It's not just that, John!" Now my voice clearly shows strain, so I take a breath and correct myself. "I don't want to argue." I plead, "Okay, let's just take a step back. Let's not fight over this, the good thing is that you're alright. I was really worried..."

He's quiet for a small fraction of time, then "I know, and, I...I want to do this with you." A small part of my brain detects resignation in his voice, like he's giving up- giving in to me. I pretend this doesn't disappoint me, I particularly pretend this doesn't hurt. Am I really that difficult? Is he unhappy being with me? My heart sinks.

"I want to do this with you too." I say quietly. Another moment of silence.

"Uh, can we try this again? But here this time- I'll cook." He breaks the silence, he seems enthused, trying to compensate.

He doesn't often suggest the flat, so I get hopeful. He does appear to be trying, "Yes, of course!" I brighten up, "That sounds really nice."

"Great! When will it be? I'm free- well, you know."

"Oh, how about this Friday, then?"

"Uh, sure, yeah- Friday. Perfect." He agrees.

I check the time and realize I need to leave for work soon, "Well, I've got to go to work now, John, but I'll see you Friday, okay?"

"Yeah, alright."

"Get some sleep!"

He delivers a delicate laugh, "Bye."

I hang up the call and grab my bag from the table before leaving my house and locking the door behind me. I'm not sure why John's been so absent lately, but I'm hopeful about Friday. This will be good for us, we need to spend some intimate time together, he's felt so far away from me. I clench my teeth against the icy morning cold and I hurry into my car. It's still dark outside but the sun will be rising soon and things will warm a little. But until then autumn air chills in my bones.

John

I drop my phone onto the bed next to me and slide my eyes around the dark room. The blinds are closed but it doesn't matter, since it's still too early for the sun to be up. I must have fallen asleep for almost two hours before Mary's phone call awoke me. I rub my eyes with my hands, they're tired but my mind is up and working now. I roll over onto my side and try to force my mind off, but it's no use. It runs through the plans I've just made with Mary, it replays my earlier episode in the bathroom, it dreads the day to come.