How We Unfold (SherlockBBC; Johnlock)

Chapter 3: A Curious Find

John

Mary. I like her, I do. But I hesitate, I don't know why. She smiles at me broadly. She is beautiful. And she's got a lovely personality. She's so lively. An excellent contrast to the rest of my life. But there is something inside of me that recoils from her approach. It's not something I quite understand. Sometimes I find myself comparing her to Sherlock. Not in any romantic manner, yet I scrutinize her in terms of him. What would he think of her? Probably assume the relationship is a waste of time. I smile to myself. That's Sherlock.

"What is it?" She asks from across the cafe table. I pull myself from my thoughts.

"Oh, nothing. I was just remembering something." I dismiss the subject. She looks like she wants to ask more but she lets it go. She smiles again and sips her tea.

"Have you any plans today?" She suddenly asks.

I shrug, "Time with you is all." She brightens, pleased.

"Well, I was thinking we could go to the show?"

"Not much playing, really." I don't know why I reject the proposal.

"We can stay in." Her words hold double meaning and her eyes hold hope. I smile and nod but can't seem to hold eye contact.

"Shall I come by after work, then?" Her lunch hour will end soon. If she comes over after her shift ends I'll have some time to myself.

"Uh, I'll come to your place." It surprises me, my desire to keep her from the flat. She's been there before, but it isn't quite right. A part of me still sees it as Sherlock's flat as well.

Her eyes gleam, "I'll make dinner then. We'll have a night in." It's decided. She glances at her wrist watch.

"Do you have to go, already?"

"Soon, but I've got a little time." Her kind smile pulls on her thin lips. Small wrinkles form just slightly on the bridge of her nose when she smiles, something I've always liked.

"You know, I was speaking to my mom the other day and she said she had the most awful time at the..."

I nod as she talks, but my mind wanders, her words drift in and out of my mind. My eyes shift from her fair complexion to the cafe window next to us. They crawl over the mass of people walking along the shops. They walk quickly, holding their coats tightly to their bodies, fighting the cold.

"-And what's worse is she couldn't get the right color-"

Everyone seems absorbed in their own course, oblivious to everyone else. Solitary, but by choice. I think about how quiet the flat is at night. How empty it often feels. I look at Mary, her face is so expressive as she speaks. She really is bright, so what's wrong with me? We've been going out for months now, and I know she expects more. Some kind of future. How can I have a future if I can't escape the past?

"-and oddly enough, she brought us up-"

I nod at her, keeping her talking. I glance out the window again, my eyes scanning the street.

"I told her we're taking it at our own pace. She wouldn't come off it-"

My eyes catch something further down the street.

"-It had become rather awkward-"

Dark curly hair.

"-and the conversation had gotten really serious about you and I, and if we loved each other-"

Tall, elegant body.

"And I told her I love you and you love-"

"Sherlock." The word slips out of my mouth before my mind could shut my lips. They close after the word has already infected the air between us.