BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo: The sacred fist of the Fanfic

Let's get this Bo-ver with

Now fully baked into a big ol' BLT, BoBoBo was ready for digestion. All buttered up and saltier than an offended Christian who never read the bible but likes to preach, BoBoBo's plan was working out perfectly. Delivered back to Space Earth thanks to his Spirit animal who then vanished like Pizza at a Frat party the trap was set. Brick saw this tasty surprise and downed it in one go as he was now very experienced in swallowing heavy loads. BoBoBo was in!
On the inside BoBoBo popped out of his delicious cocoon, all greased up and ready for business he rushed to find a killswitch. Or some pizza rolls, whichever came first on this pink gooey path of a throat. As BoBoBo reached the bottom of the esophagus he was greeted by a lake of acid to which he used his nose hairs to hook-shot across. When he reached the other side he met with a door that read, "If you came up with the plan to kill me from the inside you gotta defeat my Six elite assassins traveling to my heart."
"Hmm he's good" BoBoBo remarked as he pushed against the first mechanical and muscular door.

The next room was really bright and BoBoBo was greeted by a belittling bacteria.
"I'm Unic, the first guardian of the heart and the master of the fist of the insult" it announced loudly.
"Master huh? Well you better be pretty good, lay it on me" BoBoBo retorted.
Unic went complete attack mode and cleared his throat, "Yo mama is so ugly she turned medusa to stone."
Un-Phased by the remark BoBoBo held his ground and calmly replied with a jokester's greatest weakness, irrefutable truth.
"You're going to have to try harder. My mother was a hard working independent women who remained sexually active until the day she die, she brought pole dancing into the main stream."
The bacteria began to dissolve by the sheer unaffectedness of his humor. He gathered his thoughts and snickered in the courner as BoBoBo stood calmly.
All right, this one will get you " If I wanted to hurt myself I'd climb on your Ego and jump down to your IQ"
BoBoBo stared straight faced as if nothing was said at all, he sternly replied with, "Stupid is what stupid does"
That was a comedian's greatest weakness, people not getting their jokes.

Sick of the silly back and forth BoBoBo was getting bored and just walked towards another set of doors labeled "Elevator." He pressed the button and waited patiently as he ignored Unic begging him stop and listen to his insults. But like a dolphin with a learning disability BoBoBo didn't even try to listen as he stepped into the elevator and punched in the floor labeled the heart. The door shut on Unic and the system rose ripping him in half, as he was leaving our world he said to himself " You can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish."

With rather pleasant music playing BoBoBo stood patiently waiting for his destination. With a ping BoBoBo rushed out of the metal contraption and catapulted at the big pounding machine in the center of the room. When they collided BoBoBo's fist was knocked away but his momentum didn't stop and he promptly broke his face, he fell to the pink and gooey floor make a "sklishy" sound. He stood up and got hard, real hard. He positioned himself on just the right level and started pounding away. There were lots of hands, lips, hair, there may have been other people, I don't know, but BoBoBo pressed foreword. His body like a steam engine, he wouldn't let up, his muscles trembling, his face sweating, his nose hairs straining, his hips bucking, he used all his might to break the layer of growing metal heart inside of the ever expanding Brick. Just as he cracked through and his eyes met with a switch labeled "off" the elevator opened and the rest of the elite assassins burst out.

They rushed at BoBoBo with speeds that I won't specify for the sake of simplicity. Each chanting their names and their powers they all struck BoBoBo at once. With a loud explosion BoBoBo had been flung into tiny pieces. The villains had done it they had won. But wait what's this that BoBoBo was actually... Zilgodza prime in disguise!?!? With his armor scattered he announced to his fallowers he had been lost in his own mind, figuratively and literally, he was ashamed at what he had become. He wanted to get back to helping the little people and focusing on smaller projects! Like killing villages at a time not planets. As he was rallying his troops to fight along with him to become a village slaughtering machine. The "real" BoBoBo who didn't take the elevator, had been scaling the towers towards the heart wonder where the assassins were. He had been at the muffin man's most of this time eating sour dough bread and stuff. He just came in through the front door and walked right on to the heart. He jump and pulled the killswitch in one movement.

Zilgodza Prime turned and said "now we can finish what we started" BoBoBo was back on an equal level with his opponent but in the most random a pointless turn of events Zilgodza Prime activated the other button, self destruct switch, he stabbed completely trough BoBoBo's torso, and pulled off his own head to reaveal that he was in fact actually BoBoBo! And the fake BoBoBo was.....  the muffin man himself!?!

(I know I know audiences you must hold your tears for this ungodly emotional roller coaster of a plot but please bear with me!!)

There the muffin man looked BoBoBo dead in the eyes and with his dying breath said
"We were brothers Bo... That will never change"
BoBoBo's face morphed into an unamused frown as he replied with the last words his sibling would ever hear.
"I have no brother...

But what I do have is,"

BoBoBo stopped mid sentence he heard the self destruct ticking down and the assassins closing in right behind him. He put one of his hand into his black slacks, and finished his thought.

"What I do have is, POCKET SAND!" BoBoBo swiftly turned launching an all out wussy spray of broken rock into the enemies' eyes that gave him the time to dash all the way out of the beast faster than a cracked up Road runner. He burst out of Bricks "backdoor" and jumped into deep space swimming in the void in hope to escape the explosion. And sure enough the counter hit zero and Brick was blown to bits as the shockwave shook the Galaxy. BoBoBo was flung, at lightspeed on a piece of debris to the deepest part of the universe, where he crashed and tumbled though the a series of planets before landing an a disgraceful little moon called, Hasta la vista.