Don't Let Me Go. (Larry Stylinson)

Louis

I don't know why I did it. It just ruined my friendship with Harry. Calling Larry bullshit was just like calling our friendship bullshit. I needed the hate towards Eleanor to stop. She is my girlfriend and I love her. Well, at least I think I love her.

What is love really? The  dictionary says 'a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person'. Sure, that is what it orginally meant. I personally feel like the word itself and its meaning has lost value over the years. People are saying they love someone they have only known a few days. Can you really love someone in that short amount of time? Could it be forced love?

Recently I haven't been certain about anything. My head is always foggy; I can barely stay focused. My mind leads to him. It travels to the past where everything was great. Those two years were the happiest times of my life. Is this normal? For someone to think of their friend constantly? I mean Harry and I are just friends. There is nothing more between us. Our fans have crazy imaginations.

I have Eleanor, she is all I need. I hate to see her cry when she gets hate; that's love right? Feeling sympathy is a symptom of being in love. You care about that person. Than again I care about animals and I don't want to date them. I care about my mates but I dont want to marry them. Am I just in denial of what is right in front of me?

I sit in my empty living room, the one I use to share with Harry. All the memories that surrounded the flat. I can't tell you why I haven't moved out yet. Maybe it is because it's all I have left of Harry. Our last good memories were in this small space.  I miss the way things use to be between him and I. It was easy to have a laugh with him. He was there for me when I needed someone no matter what hour of the day.

Maybe Harry is the love I have been looking for all along. If that is the case why did I pick Eleanor? I mean if I was attracted to boys I wouldn't have asked her out.  Eleanor isn't my first girlfriend. There was Hannah; I loved her. Even after all those years could you still have a rebound? Is Eleanor my rebound for Hannah?

But what if Eleanor is my rebound but not for Hannah. What if she is my rebound for Harry. Could that be possible? Of course it is possible I mean I was loosing a friend so I brought someone in. The only problem with that is Harry and I were still on great terms when Eleanor entered the picture.

I wish that everything was back to normal.

We are always asked 'If we could go back in time where would we go and why?' The boys always say Madison Square Garden or The X Factor. Yeah, I agree, The X Factor but not for the same reasons as them. I would go back for that curly haired, sixteen year old I met in the bathroom.  Who knew that we would end up in a band together. I just wish our friendship would have taken a better path than this.

I hope this is not the end of it. I hope we can repair it. It is tearing me apart not having him with me.

Harry, Don't let me go....