Don't Let Me Go. (Larry Stylinson)

Harry

Those words ran through my head like a broken record.  All this time our friendship was bullshit in his eyes? Two fucking years just down the drain. Everything I have told him. Everything we shared. It was all a wasted. Louis was my best mate. He was everything to me.

What happened to being friends for life? What happened to being each others best man's at our weddings? Well, when I made that promise I had only hoped he would be my husband. Was that the problem? Did he see through me and find out I was into him?

That was my worst fear even though I wanted to tell him. I was afraid if Louis knew that I wanted to be more than friends that it would ruin our friendship. I guess either way it would have happen. Just, it probably would have happened sooner.  I wasn't ready to loose Louis. My worst nightmare came true. He understood me. Louis was there for me. I would be up at 3 in the morning crying because of the hate I got. He was there comforting me.  I couldn't ask for anyone better.

Everywhere I go something reminds me of Louis. Walking down the street I swear I see him walk past; I started walking with my head down so I didn't see him. Those piercing blue eyes of his, the scruff on his face, his sweet voice. Everything about him was perfect.  I have never met anyone as perfect as him.  That smile of his could light up the whole world. His lips always look so soft; I would give anything to kiss those lips. People don't realize what Louis means to me. I can't show what he means to me. Sadly it is look down on.

The fans understand even when we haven't said anything about it. They see Lou and I separating. We don't sit by each other anymore, we don't speak to each other. They think management as something to do with it but it is not them. He has changed.

It started when Eleanor entered the picture. No, I am not blaming her. It is just fact. I moved out of the flat we shared so I wouldn't be in their way. We spent less time with each other. It got to the point where we only saw each other while touring or doing Press and we would have loads of fun than. Now we don't have the fun that we use to during press or on tour.

I get hate on a daily basis, for me it isn't easy dealing with that. Why do they hate me? I did nothing wrong. I want to be one of those people who don't care what other people think of me. The hate lead me to hating myself which I turned to liquor to numb the pain. Since I lost Louis my addiction has gotten worse. Now it has turned into Pills and Marijuana. I never wanted this for myself. I always thought I would be the one to stay away from drugs but I guess I was wrong.

Why did this happen to me? Why does all the bad shit happen to me? It seems for the other boys everything is just great, Zayn has Perrie, Niall is having the time of his life, and Liam is so in love with Danielle. Why can't I just show how much I love Louis. He is the only one I want. I would stand on top of the highest building and shout it to the world if I could.

I guess I could tell him how I feel now though. I mean nothing worse could happen. He might punch me. I highly doubt it would hurt. He would probably look so cute doing it. Damn it! I can't even be mad at him! I would probably laugh and forgive him right away. This is my problem! He could probably tell everyone my deepest darkest secret and he would smile and I would forgive him. I swear he will be the death of him.

Louis, Don't Let me go.