The new girl

Funeral

I sat in the cafeteria with Jujin. It's been a long time since I've been in here. The cafeteria was still the same. Chattery, loud and packed. Nothing had changed, yet so much. It was like everything had changed just because Jihoon's not here with me.

I hadn't even starting to accept the fact that he wasn't here. That there wasn't something we could do.

"Kaisa...Kaisa..?" I didn't look up but I knew Jujin had a worried face.

"Are you sure you want to go today? I mean, you really don't have to..." I gave away a sad smile.

"I want to; I need to..." I said as I kept my head down where my untouched food probably was.

Today was the funeral. Jihoo's. Even though I didn't want to accept that he was dead, I needed to go. I just couldn't not go. He was my boyfriend. I'm sure he would want me to go.

An unknown tear slipped down and onto my plait. As soon as I felt it slip down, it felt as if a hand couped my cheek. But in reality it wasn't anything there.

My hand searched for Vernon, and found his hand.
"I want to go..." I said and he squeezed my hand.

"Let's go." His voice was soft as he talked. He helped me get up and handed me my walking stick. He made sure that I held onto his shirt as he walked and showed me the direction, so I wouldn't get lost or kill myself by not seeing a car that would drive by.

"Stay here, I'll take your plait." He said in his soft voice and I stood still. I felt how he slipped through my gripp and left. Not long after he came back though. We walked out from the cafeteria, the small echoey sound my stick made as it landed on the ground made me understand that there wasn't much people were we were.

"Want to go to the basketball court?" Vernon asked and I nodded. The basketball court is where I and Vernon had spent most of our time the past weeks. I would sit on the bench near the court and hear when the boys' played. It was nice, the wind that would blow through my hair, getting out some tears as well.

When we got outside Vernon guided me where to go, so I wouldn't fall or trip over something.

"Here's the step." He said as he helped me go up the small stair to the benches.

"Will you play today?" I asked as I sat down. I couldn't tell if he shook his head or nodded, but finally he uttered his words.

"Who would I play with? The guys aren't here..." I didn't know if I looked at him or not but I looked forward.

"Isn't Dino here? You can go get him, I want to hear you play..." I really didn't want anyone to sit next to me, not today. I wanted to be alone, but Vernon wouldn't leave me if it wouldn't be for the basketball. Watching and hearing someone play basketball, it's different from only hearing. I knew who had the ball only by hearing the sound it made as it bounced on the ground. It sounded different with each person. Vernon had a more synchronized sound when he dribbled than the others and Dino had a smaller sound since he didn't have to bounce with a strong force.

"Okay, but I'll be back soon. Don't go anywhere without me, okay?" I nodded, still looking foreward. I could hear how he ran down the stairs and further away.

I smiled as a small tear slipped down my face.
"Seems like nothing's the same anymore." My hands were shaking as I let my head fall down. I heard how footsteps walked down towards me.
"You're back? Did you find Dino?" I wiped away the tears as I uttered my words. Nothing, Vernon didn't answer my question.
"Vernon? Where's Dino?" I couldn't hear Dino's voice either, but I heard a pair of footsteps coming closer to me.

"Vernon. Speak, you know I don't like it when you're quiet." I stared into thin air, I didn't know if I was looking at him, or if it even was Vernon.

"Who is it?" I finally ask, trying to get information. If it was Vernon who wanted to joke with me, or if it was someone else.
"It's Woo-Seok...." As I heard his voice, I moved to the side, not knowing how far in on the bench I was, and I fell down.

"Kaisa, are you okay?" I felt how he took my arm, trying to pull me up. I started to scream.

"Don't touch me!" I jerked back my arm, I started to crawl backwards, only to hit the wall with my back. "Get away!" I covered my ears with my hands.
"Kaisa, listen." He started, but I didn't want to hear. He was the one who made me like this, he got me blind.

"I just want to talk to you. Please." I shook my head, praying that he will go away. Hoping for Vernon and Dino to come, fast.

"J-Just go," I felt how the tears started to fall down. "Just leave me alone!" I shouted.

"Woo-Seok? What the hell are you doing here?!" Vernon's sharp tone could be heard from not so far away. I could hear how he ran towards us. Not just him, but Dino too. His steps were shorter than Vernon's.

"Get away from her you psycho!" It wasn't Dino's voice, but Jujin's.
"Why do you keep bothering her?" Dino's voice was closer than the others. I felt a pair of hands on me, I knew it was Dino's, his hands were smaller than Vernon's but not as small as Jujin's. He pulled me up, feeling how I was shaking, he pulled me behind him, making me hold onto his jacket.

"Can't you see you've done enough?" Jujin said as she took my hand, her hand was warm, I could feel how heated up she was with this.

"Can't I just see her to ask for forgiveness?" I gripped harder onto Dino's jacket, letting my other hand be comforted by Jujin.
"You can't be forgiven, you made her blind. That's not something you can forget someone easily for, you know." Vernon said. I couldn't see, but I didn't have to see to know he was grabbing Woo-Seok's collar, I could hear how Vernon gritted his teeth.
"Hyung, he's not worth it." The way Dino said it made it more clear that Vernon wanted to fight him.
"You better not come near her ever again!" Jujin said, holding onto me. I know why they were harsh on him, but they were taking it a bit too far.

__

The wind blew in my hair; I didn't know how I would react. I sighed and Vernon stopped.
"Are you okay? You don't need to go inside; you know that right?" I nodded holding his hand.
"I know... But I need too." He led me up the stairs, slowly he opened the church doors and led me in.

"Kaisa?" I bit my lip to not break down and cry in front of them. I lowered my head as Vernon came to my side.
"Mr. Lee... Mrs. Lee..." Vernon sighed out as he let my hand go and walked up to them.

"I'm so sorry, you lost your son..." Vernon was almost whispering, but I heard his voice. I couldn't take it anymore, the tears fell from my eyes, making me look devastated.

"Oh, Kaisa... Come here." Mrs. Lee walked up to me, embracing me. It wasn't the first time I've seen her, she've been to campus way before the incident with Woo-Seok and his hyung.

"I-I'm sorry..." I dropped my walking stick and hugged her back.
"There's nothing for you to be sorry about." Mr. Lee said as he joined the hug.
"It would've been me... I would have been the one who should have died, not him." My voice cracked as I talked and I'm sure that my tears stained their clothes.

"Don't say that, please." Mrs. Lee sighed as she held my face. She dried away my tears.

"Don't ever say that, it's not your fault, and you would definitely not have taken his place." I knew she was crying too, her voice was cracking up, just like mine.