Cipher [Bill X Reader One Shots]

[5] Put it Off (Human!Bill)

SORRY THE LAST ONE WAS SAD AND NOT VERY ROMANTIC

FAMILY LOVE IS JUST SO IMPORTANT OKAY

AND THE PINES ARE A LOVELY FAMILY

So here's this oneshot to make up for it. I hope it turns out as well as I imagined it XD

THANKS MARKIBABY FOR THE PROMPT

Warning: cussing

Warning: mildly cliche

Warning: Llamas with Hats reference (The people have spoken. Viva la resistance!)

Warning: BILL IS FREAKING INSANE IN THIS ONE LIKE MORE INSANE THAN USUAL I'M SORRY THERE I NO BACKGROUND INFORMATION FOR IT EITHER SORRYYY

Word Count: 1242

***

You panted, watching as a purple, four legged monster with a torso that looked slightly like a loaf of bread fell, shaking the ground as it hit. You brushed off your hands, stood straight and put the kukris style dagger in the sheath at your hip, itching to go back to your dimension. Every little battle you finished, you silently cursed yourself for trusting the priest that gave you the damn thing. If it weren't for him, you wouldn't be fighting these demons every day.

There was a slow clapping behind you, and you groaned, knowing exactly who it was. "Seriously, Bill? I seriously need to study for-" Turning to face him, you cut off your sentence at what you saw. Rather than the (strangely adorable) triangle you were used to, you saw a tall, skinny man in black pants, gloves, shoes, and shirt. He had a yellow vest with a long, brick patterned tailcoat that billowed around as he floated, a black eye patch, and yellow-blonde hair swept to the side to reveal shorter black hair. "Well, that's new," you muttered sarcastically.

"Oh, what a pleasant surprise! I was thinking I might be able to go twenty-four hours without our paths crossing," Bill exclaimed with faux cheer, scorn dripping off his words.

You scoffed. "Stop trying to take over my dimension and you'll never have to see my face again."

"You and I both know I can't do that. My people need to be freed! Viva la resistance!" Bill cheered, arms outstretched and head back as if he were basking in sunlight.

"You're not the ones resisting anything," You answered in a flat tone and an equally flat expression. Bill only grinned in response, floating dangerously closer to you.

"Oh, darling. Such beautiful, bloody thoughts flashing through your mind right now," He murmured thoughtfully, eyes shut and inches away from your face as if he were about to kiss you. Your eyes narrowed as you tried to conjure up the bloodiest, most painful death to play in your mind, especially for him. He only grinned, opening his eyes. They looked absolutely insane, which was fitting for somebody as crazy as him. "Beautiful," He repeated.

"Wanna look as pretty as those thoughts?" You growled, fingers closing around the handle of your dagger. You were now an expert at clearing your mind of all plans to attack Bill, after years of having to battle him and almost dying a few times. Without thinking, you sliced at him. However, he backed away from you before the blade could cut him. It tore a small part of his vest on the side, but no other damage was dealt. Cursing under your breath, you jumped back and kept your eyes on the demon in front of you. "How's about a little makeover, then?"

His laugh seemed to shake the pure white area around you as a blue flame crawled around on his hand. "Oh, good one, (nickname)! I'm definitely intimidated and fearing for my life! Here, take the universe I've waited one trillion years for- all because of your little threat.

No need to be an ass about it, you thought. Almost immediately, a herd of terrifying donkey's with flaming, blue eyes, razor-sharp teeth, and coats darker than the night started to charge at you. You glared at Bill before desperately trying to avoid them.

"You'd think you'd know by now to always of your thought on lock down," He scolded, shaking his head back and forth and clicking his tongue. "Ah well, some people just have to learn the hard way."

The flame in his hands grew almost to his size, and he sent it straight towards you. You shrieked and ducked, feeling the intense heat as it soared inches above you. It dissipated into nothingness behind you. Thus, the battle had begun.

As per usual, you advanced towards Bill with almost ninja-like moves. Pretty early on in the game, you learned how to control and manipulate your stealth and agility in the mindscape. Bill, however, easily evaded every slice you dealt to him. You stopped for a great, never taking your eyes off of him.

As much as you hated to admit it, Bill was actually a gentleman. He never once hit you or punched you, because you were a lady. Sure, he'd send you flying when he pushed you off of him and tried to dear you with magic blue flames, but you had to give him a little credit. He even waited for you to catch your breath. You were about to comment on his "kindness" when you were pinned to the ground.

"I'm tired of waiting for you to slip up and give me a reason to kill you," Bill admitted through clenched teeth. One hand clenched around your throat while the other was raised threateningly with a giant fireball in it. "Is it really up to me to do the dirty work?"

Cringing, you tilted your head to the side and shut your eyes tight. What would your family and friends think? Would they think some maniac just took you out of the house and carried you off into the woods? We're you just going to be another missing poster, stapled to the bulletin board at the Walmart in the next town over?

What happens to a human who dies in the mindscape?

Though his hand was around your neck, you noticed that his other hand, now flame-less, gently traced your jawline. Opening one eye, you saw he was just as confused as you were.

"Y'know," He murmured after a while, truly contemplating his options, "Maybe I should let that pitiful earth planet crush your soul instead."

"W-what?" You stammered as he slowly released his hold on you. Quickly, you jumped up and held your dagger out defensively. Bill rolled his eyes and sat on his knees.

"Fine. It's decided. The same way you put off that test you need to study for, I'm putting off killing you."

For some reason, you decided to counter. "I only procrastinated because I had more important things to deal with!"

Flashing you a dubious look, he stood, pulled on his glove, and brushed himself off. With a snap of his fingers, a portal opened up beside him. "Really, (nickname)," He scoffed, floating slightly off the ground. "All of my business is more important than dealing with you."

In a second, he was gone, as you yelled out, "Hey!" Blood boiling, you took your dagger and swiped it so your own portal was made. Unfortunately, it was made in the ceiling of your room. You crashed to the floor, groaning.

It was 3 in the morning, according to your clock. But when you say in your desk chair, you saw all of your homework was done. A notepad was on top of the meat stack. I might not be able to help you study, but at least I can get you to sleep. We'll continue our battle in your dreams.

P.S. don't freak out if you see a couple of dead, blood drained woodland creatures lying around.

So that's why the ink looked like blood. You were too tired to really be concerned. Without even changing your clothes, you curled up on your he'd and fell asleep.

Of course, a certain human made his way into your dreams that night. But for once, they weren't turned into nightmares.