Cipher [Bill X Reader One Shots]

[5.5] Random Prompts To Make Up For My Absence

OKAY SO TO MAKE UP FOR MY ABSENCE THESE ARE A BUNCH OF PROMPTS I FOUND AND YOU CAN CHOOSE WHICH ONE I DO FIRST

YOU'RE ALSO OBVIOUSLY WELCOME TO DO THEM IDK

HERE WE GO

***

1.) You: *with an Ouija board*
Bill spirit: *decides to fuck with you*
You: *says something witty*
Bill spirit: *moves planchette rapidly between H and A*
Your body: *aches from having to keep up with Bill*
You: dammit Bill

2.) "I am an ALL KNOWING, near OMNIPOTENT entity!"
"Bill, you screamed when some kid offered you Doritos."
"You mortals have NO taste in your shack foods!"
"I'm pretty sure the geometry textbook is some kind of R-rated magazine for you."
"DO NOT QUESTION ME!"
"BILL NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T SCREAM IN PUBLIC STFU"

3.) Wait you're a demon oh I thought you were some kind of unique tumblr boy haha okay this is awkward

4.)Bill: "Screw you."
You: "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
Bill: "You know what, I would. We'll have to do it later, like when I'm drunk."
You: "No no, it has to mean something."
Bill: "It will mean something. It'll mean that I'm drunk."

5.) Bill: so you know the expression, "Ignore it and it will go away?" Yeah well it does not apply to being chased by a dozen police cars so we really need to start running.

6.) You: "oh, god."
Bill: "yes?"
You: "you're not god."
Bill: "We'll, not as far as this dimension is concerned."

7.) Bill: "You know, (nickname), there are about 1,010,300 words in the English language and no combination of any of them can express how deeply I want to hit you with a chair."

8.)Bill: "Welcome to my house. Go ahead, make yourself comfortable. Really, knock yourself out. Please note that that is merely an expression, and would be rather inconvenient for me if you landed to beat yourself unconscious in my home."

9.) Bill: "Let's be civil about this! In my defense, I fully intended to kill you in that fire!"

10.) You: *asks Bill to do something weird*
Bill: "Now why would I do that?"
You: "Because you love me!"
Bill: "I most certainly do not love you! I don't even like you!"
You: "Okay, I'll admit t to that kuchen. But you do hate me marginally less than you hate everybody else."
Bill: "Yeah, the keyword there being marginally."

Bonus!:

11.) Bill: *laughs* "Good one, kid! I'm surprised it came from your mind."

So, which one should I do first?