[ChunJoe] We Are Not a Joke [Teen Top] DISCONTINUED

Chapter Four - Island

*L. Joe's POV*

I kept walking, I didn't even know where the hell I was going since we'd just been brought to this island I had no idea actually existed. But, I kept walking. I didn't want to stand there anymore. I didn't want to see C.A.P anymore. I didn't even want to be part of Teen Top anymore if this was what was going to happen on a regular basis from now on. C.A.P and Chunji. Were they together? Surely not. Chunji only recently went though a break-up, and C.A.P's straight, right? One question wouldn't leave my mind... 

Why does my heart ache so much? 

Obviously, I kinda knew the answer to that, but it's not like I want to admit something like that. I could never openly admit something like that, because it's just not me. 

I'm L. Joe from Teen Top. The 'face' of the group. The one the girl's go crazy for. The girls. Not the guys. I can't just openly become a homosexual, it can't happen. Besides, I don't even think I am a homosexual. It's only him. Damn-it. 

Still walking, I turned to look behind me, only to find that C.A.P had walked back over to the group and left Chunji alone near the ocean's waves. I wanted to go to him, to ask him what was between him and C.A.P. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Yes, I'm a coward. I know that. I realized it a long time ago, when I got a girlfriend plainly for the sake of running away from the fact that I had feelings for a guy. My best friend, of all people. And that only messed things up between me and him, anyway. I wanted space from him to clear my head, but not this much space. What could ever bring the two of us close enough again that could fill this space? 

Mutual love.

Something the two of us could never have. Because Chunji is straight. Chunji's had plenty of girlfriends in the past, and he only recently broke up with his last one. If he returned my feelings, surely he'd stay single, and think I was the only one for him. That's a naive way of thinking, and I'm fully aware of it. The realization hit me that, if I was so in love with Chunji, how had I managed to maintain a relationship with a girl for this long, anyway? Maybe I didn't love Chunji. Maybe it was just the fact that I missed his company. Day by day, C.A.P and Chunji grow closer as friends, maybe more. And maybe I just hate the idea of my space being filled by someone else. 

Walking, and walking, and walking. Until everyone is just a speck in the distance. When will I stop walking? I didn't know, if I was honest with myself. I didn't even want to walk anymore, but my legs wouldn't stop. Onwards, onwards, onwards, until... 

I'd done a full lap of the entire beach. 

Around the back and back towards the group again. Great. There I was now, standing in front of everyone, out of breath and feeling embarassed. All this time, Chunji hadn't moved from his spot down at the shoreline, but C.A.P was happily mingling with everyone else. That in itself annoyed me. It was a blessing that C.A.P could spend time with Chunji so easily, and he was throwing their time together away. He kissed him, and what? Was that it? Was he just going to leave it at that and confuse poor Chunji to death? I grew angrier and angrier by the second, until finally, I couldn't hold it anymore. "C.A.P, a word?" I called out sweetly. It'd be bad if the others realized my hostility. "You'll build a sandcastle with me, won't you?" I put on my puppy-dog eyes, working hard to try and use my aegyo to lure him away from the others. It worked. Huzzah!

"We need to talk." I stated, once we were out of earshot. 

"Do we?" C.A.P replied, a smirk obvious on his face. Such arrogance. Why had I never noticed before just how easy this guy was to dislike? That's not true... It's not that I dislike C.A.P, it's just... I can't help but feel jealous of him right now. "I don't think we do." My anger was rising, and it took a lot of energy not to lunge at C.A.P. He was purposely teasing me, purposely trying to get an angry reaction. "We need to talk about Chunji." I retorted bluntly. "What is he to you?" C.A.P's smirk increased and this only annoyed me further. "He's just a member of my group, much like everybody else." C.A.P replied, smiling. "That's not true." I replied, confidence building. "You don't kiss everybody else." This time, I was the one left to smirk, as C.A.P looked somewhat embarassed. "Don't use the word 'kiss' for that kind of thing. I was just doing Chunji a favor." He spoke, clearing his throat. "By the looks of it, my plan worked. He's over there, so go to him." He continued, before turning and heading back to the group.