Breathless

Chapter 12

I had three full fource panic attacks, but I got to Michigan by two in the morning.

I need a girl to talk to.

I'm freaking out.

We've only been together six months. I can't fucking get engaged!

Oh my god, oh my god. 

I slept on the floor in the living room and it's around three now.

I remember that I live an hour and a half away from my entire family now, so, even though it's ten in the morning, I go over to Christian's house and hurriedly move his car and leave it in his driveway with his keys in the front door, and then I ditch the trailer at Aubrey and Dylan's house, and drive to Holland.

It's Saturday so everyone is here for Pizza night.

I just need to talk to my sisters. Annie and I are closest.

I still haven't fixed my phone.

I park the Jeep and get out and walk up the driveway and into Grandma's house.

"Erin?" Mom asks.

"Hey Mom." I say.

"Oh my god!" she says, excited, hugging me. "What are you doing here?" she looks over my shoulder. "Where's Christian?" she looks concerned.

"He's in East Lansing." I say. "We moved there."

"You moved to Michigan?" Mom asks.

"Yeah."

My family starts to come into the kitchen where I'm standing, freaking out and hugging me, but they can all tell something is bothering me.

"I gotta go to Verizon."

"I'll come." Annie says.

So her and I leave.

"What's bothering you?" she asks.

"I uh, got lost in Wisconsin because I lost everyone in traffic, and I had Christian's car on a trailer attached to mine, and I went through it to find a GPS because mine broke and my phone is fucked up, and I found a GPS in the middle console, and I was digging through it for the cord that attaches to it because he has a lot of receipts, and in the middle console, I found a Tiffany's box and inside was a diamond ring with rose gold around it."

Silence.

"Is he gonna propose?" she whispers.

"I don't know. I'm not ready, but I don't want to ruin everything.

"Have you seen him? Are you gonna talk to him about it?"

"No, I haven't seen him. I showed up at his house and dropped his car off without saying anything, and then I left the trailer at his friends house. I had three panic attacks on the way here, Ann."

Annie and I are close as hell, and we always have been, because I'm twenty three and she's twenty four. She's only a year and a half older, so her birthday is coming. And then Madeline and Shannon are close because Shannon is twenty seventh and Madeline is thirty one.

"Well, I hardly know Christian, but he seems like a really great guy. If you're not ready, I think he'll wait. I don't think it's going to ruin everything."

"But I want to be ready." I whisper.

"Don't rush." She says.

I know she's right.

We get to Verizon, and she gets out with me, and I go and get my phone replaced for free, and they transfer everything.

I have nineteen missed calls, and eleven texts.