Drowning Alone

Prologue

"I'm sorry miss, but I need you to come with me." I hear a deep voice say. I look up to see a man in a police uniform above me, looking at me with concern and pity in his dark brown eyes.

I look back down at the graves and faintly nod my head. I walk up to the headstones and gently set down a white rose at each one, placing a light kiss on each dark stone. Mumbling a soft, "I love you" to each, but so quiet that I could only hear.

I stand up straight and with one last look at the depressing stones. The only words that were left to describe everything that no words can express, simple words can't tell you a life time of memories and love. "Loving parents and greatest friends, you will be with us forever." Not being able to look at them anymore, I slowly trudge my way to the car.

Some people would be braking down crying, but I'm not. I want to cry, to let out all the pressure in my heart, but I can't, I feel numb. I want them back so much and yet I know that I will never see them again. They're gone. I feel like someone ripped out my heart but I was helpless to do anything about it and I'm left hopeless and without the will to go on, it made me feel paralyzed and numb. Left alone to fend for myself against the sad and crappy life on this earth.

I think about that day, the day I lost everything. I have no one now, no family, and all my friends left me saying that they didn't want to be friends with someone that has so much baggage. I lost everything that had meaning. I think about everything that has happened as I look at the frost covered ground, indicating that winter was coming soon.

What's the point? Why try and act like everything's okay when it's not? Why try when nobody cares?

The man opens the door to the back silently, and as I sit down he gently closes the door. As if I was a priceless China doll and at any sudden movement or sound would break me. Shattering me to a million little pieces. He gets in the front seat and says, "I'm sorry for your loss." He then looks at me in the review mirror, to study my reaction.

The one phrase that I never understood why people feel drawn to say at times like this. They don't feel sorrow, they feel pity. They don't understand what I'm going through. They don't understand what it's like. So why say sorry? Just don't say anything.

Sighing I look out my window, wanting to be alone in my own sorrow and self-pity.

The man starts the car and pulls away from the dirt path and onto the road. I look out to see that it's starting to rain. Watching as the rain drops splatter onto the window and fall hopelessly to the bottom, almost in a race with the other rain drops. But a race that no one could win since at the end they would both disappear into the darkness of the night.

I realize that the rain drops and me have more in common than what we might know.

Both racing to the end with hope until it's destroyed along the way, and you blindly follow it until it's too late. Your destroyed either way. And you are left feeling alone, betrayed, and helpless.

And finally a stray tear falls.

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Warning! This is my first book and I'm mostly writing this when I'm half asleep! So yes, I know that there are grammar mistakes and that it's terrible. But please just try and leave nice suggestions and I will try to make it better. No hate please!

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