Life Underground

Life Goes On (for some of us)

After the second month, I'm desperate for something, anything to take away the dull ache of boredom and nothingness. I've taken to wandering the halls at school during the day, slamming people's lockers if I don't like them and hiding papers sometimes. The list of people I don't like changes; I stop holding grudges for things that happened while I was alive and start to look at how they treat everyone. It's very interesting sometimes.

After the two month anniversary of my death, I begin to be forgotten. The school has completely moved on, although there are a few people who I can tell still remember and think about me. Home is returning to normal, although my family never goes into my room. The dog likes to sit at my door and scratch, begging me to let her in. It makes me kind of sad sometimes, but the coolest part is she can sense where I am still. Sometimes at night she'll wander to my door and I'll let her in if I'm around, and she'll sleep right next to where I'm sitting on my bed. It's late nights like these when I wish I was still alive the most, but since I'm getting stronger I can actually pet her now.

The most alarming thing about it all is that I can't remember her name. I also can't remember names of neighbors, streets, places, and other various things that used to be such a part of my life. I asked Paul and he said the unimportant things start to fade away.

I didn't talk to him for the rest of the day.

While I was hanging out in the forest, I ran into Hazel. I still remember her name, and I cherish it. I miss her all the time, and she's the biggest reason I feel guilt. I loved her a lot, and it's hard to see her so upset over my death. I know she'll get over it, but it hasn't happened and I don't see it happening any time soon.

Anyway,I ran into her in the forest. Literally. I was just walking, minding my own business and staring at my shoes when I passed through someone. I felt the familiar rush of warm air and stopped, looking up. I had to step back because my face was halfway into her head, but when I looked it was her. She was taller than when I died, almost as tall as me. It scares me to think that I won't ever grow again. I put it behind me.

Hazel has been crying, and she's wearing one of my old sweatshirts. I look closer and she's wearing a shirt of mine as well, some old faded band t that I left in my closet. I smile a bit and watch her, following as she walks out towards the waterfront. She stands over the cliffs, looking out on the water, and I take a deep breath.

"Hazel!" I yell, clearing my throat a bit afterwards. It's been quite a while since I used my voice. She doesn't turn, so I try again. "HAZEL!"

She turns this time, frowning in confusion and looking around. I'm yelling right in her ear, so I scream her name.

"Will...?" She sits down shakily on a rock, eyes searching all around her and tears welling up. I try a new approach and go to the dirt in front of her feet. I miss you, I write. Her eyes go wide and then the tears fall, spilling down her face as she reads my message.

"Oh, Will... I miss you too."