Bear Child (Book 1)

Chapter 32

Hello everyone! Just wanted to let you all know that the next chapter will be the last chapter in Bear Child. I really hope you guys have enjoyed it so far. The next chapter will be super important, and I think you'll be surprised but pleased at what happens. The song to the right, "Yesterday" by Leona Lewis, is the perfect song to describe what Clair is going through and what she's experienced since she's lost Kenai. I hope you guys like this chapter. This chapter and this song is for anyone who has ever lost anybody that they loved.

(caution: this chapter will contain profanity and violence)

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     32. Contained Pain

It had been four weeks. Four long, damn weeks since Kenai had died. I still felt great pain and sadness, but most of all, numbness. I had even become depressed. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I hardly ever talked. I had forgotten how to smile. I spent most of the time either locked in my room or by Kenai’s grave.

The very next day after Kenai had died, Amorak dug a deep hole right next to Kenai and we put him in it. Once we buried him, Amorak planted a pine tree sapling right on top so that it represented a tombstone. It was his idea, and I thought it was a beautiful thought. It was a sad, but in a strange way, pretty sight. A small pine tree sapling right beside a waterfall marking the grave of a beloved friend and guardian. Sonia and Alex had even taken the liberty to wear black to the so-called funeral. We had all worn black. In fact, for the past few days, all I would wear was black. I had lost the desire to wear color. I felt a bit guilty because I had brought down Alex’s mood on his birthday and I ruined both of their fun on Halloween. But I just couldn’t find a festive mood within me.

Strangely, I hadn’t seen Darcy at school at all. I wanted to confront her. I wanted to kill her. She had been the one who shot Kenai. If it wasn’t for her, Kenai would still be alive right now. Sonia and Alex were being very understanding about how I was feeling, how much pain I was going through, but they didn’t think that getting revenge on Darcy would solve anything. I thought otherwise. I wanted my revenge. I wanted pay-back. I needed to make her pay.

It was 6:40 in the morning in mid-November. The day before Thanksgiving. Everyone was filled with holiday cheer, but I still felt numb. Today was the last day of school until we had a four day vacation for Thanksgiving Day. Amorak had told Ben about what happened to Kenai. They had to explain my sudden depression somehow. Ben was actually a bit pleased that Kenai would no longer take up any of my time. Because Kenai was no longer around, he lifted my restrictions since he found no reason for me to be putting myself endanger by going in the woods anymore. It was a good thing that he didn’t know I still went out in the middle of the night to see Kenai’s grave.

Every once in a while, I would go to the spot where I would meet up with Kenai at night. We had decided to call it Meeting Wood. It was lame, but it was what we had decided. I would go there just hoping to see him sleeping in the shadows or sometimes I would stay for a little while and wait to see if he would show up. I would always hope that this was all just a horrible nightmare and that one day he would show up. Sometimes, I would even fall asleep there, waiting for him. No matter how many times I told myself that he wasn’t coming, I would always wait. I would always call out for him. I still wore the amulet in hopes that one day, he would surprise me with a “Hey, girly.” Also, I had grown attached to the little trinket.

As I walked into the hallways of the main building, I saw Alex hugging Sonia by his locker. He took notice of me. “Hey, Clair.” He said. I gave an acknowledging nod to him as I walked over. “You don’t feel like talking much today either, huh?” Sonia asked. I shook my head. I hardly ever talked at all unless the teacher asked me something, and sometimes not even that. There would be days that passed without me saying a single word. “It’s been a month, Clair. I know your hurt but you have to at least talk.” Alex said. I simply looked in another direction. My eyes widened and my blood boiled with anger as Darcy came strutting down the hall with Kate at her heels, Helen seeming to be absent.