If Only You Hadn't Give Up

The Bridge

As we're reaching the entrance of the park. It rain. The rain cried the tears I can't afford too...or should I say, the rain feel me. We ran to the nearest shelter in the park. It's about 100metres long. We're drenched.

"Woah hey you smiled!" Said John

I looked at him speechless. I smiled? He must he blind. We sat at the floor, leaning to the wall. It was so cold. I'm legit dying right now. Oh no, the feeling of wanting to faint is back. I felt so weak. I can't help but my body was pushed by the wind and ended up lying on John's Lap.

"S..s..sorry..." I felt so weak that I could barely speak.

"Nah it's fine..." He said that while hugging me.

Oh why is this guy hugging me. Isn't he known as the dirty guy. Let go of me please.. I'm feeling uncomfortable...but at the same time I felt better ...It's warm..

It took about 15 minutes for the rain to stop. I was just lying on his lap, looking at the scenery...thinking about Dan..
As the rain stop, and surprisingly, the puddles had been evaporated. That was fast. John and I was walking towards this place where it has a bridge . However lot's of people don't know about it. Only people from our current school knows.

It was an enclosed area. The bridge was actually somewhat abandoned. We went in the area..and then we both stood at the side of the bridge facing the "river." I took out my cigarette and began to puff. He looked at me with confusion.

"You shouldn't be smoking." He said.

I looked at him and then rolled my eyes. I looked at the pond, there was a dead fish. I pointed at it and told him that's me. He was trying his best to not laugh.

"Laugh all you want..I don't care."

He suddenly stop giggling and apologize straight away.

"So Mere i-"

"I'm suffering from depression..i hate myself.. As you can see, I'm currently doing self harm hoping I'll die someday. I mean, I could kill myself right now but I feel hope whenever I see his house..but now..seeing him with another girl in the picture..." I looked down.

Sighed. "I just want to curl up in a hole and die. If this is how my life gonna be, I don't want it anymore. You're probably annoyed of how dumb I could be. But this is what I'm feeling. Have you ever feel like you're drowning, except you could see everyone breathing. You know what maybe I'm too complicated for anyone to love."