No Love

Realization

Lexa walked down stairs and saw Clarke watching television, she walked up behind Clarke and wrapped her arms around her neck. Clarke flinched at the touch, "Oh God, you scared me. I didn't hear you come down stairs."

Lexa smiled and kissed Clarke on her temple, "I'm a sneaky little thing, that's why I'm Heda!"

Clarke turned around to face her smiling lover, "Oh really?"

Lexa nodded and bit her lip, "Mhmm," she bent down and gently kissed her lover's lips Clarke moaned in satisfaction. Lexa broke the kiss and chuckled at Clarke's frown, she hopped over their couch and plopped onto the cushion.

Lexa grinned, "First time and still successful."

Clarke smiled and shook her head, "You weren't with me."

Lexa nodded in agreement, "True. You were certainly hard to get, that's why I'm the luckiest girl ever," she winked.

"Ha! The only reason why you have me now was because I didn't want to have to deal with Finn," Clarke pointed out.

Lexa pressed her hand against her chest, "Damn... I don't know if I should feel lucky or not anymore," she jokingly pouted.

They both laughed, "Man we haven't had this much fun together in a long time. And you know what people say... take a picture, it'll last longer. I want it to last forever." She took out her phone and found the camera, she positioned herself closer to Clarke.

"Lex, I thought you hated taking pictures. You changing up on me now?" She smiled.

"Oh hush." She laughed, "Come on, the picture isn't gonna take the picture itself."

Lexa pressed her lips upon Clarke's cheek, Clarke grinned, she rose her phone and took the picture.

Lexa smiled, "Let's take a next one!"

Clarke chuckled, "Sure."

Lexa laid her head on Clarke's lap and rose her phone again, they both smiled, preparing to take the picture. The screen changed notifying her that Octavia was calling as her picture popped up on her screen.

Clarke angrily pushed Lexa off her lap, Lexa quickly got up before she fell on the ground.

"Clarke, it's not what you think. She's just a frien-" Clarke waved her off, "Save your breath, please do. It's clear to me that you want her, so go... go and have the girl you desire the most. I'm not going to sit here and let you break my heart as if it has no meaning, no purpose."

"Clarke, if you'd just hear me out," she pleaded. Lexa waited to see if Clarke was going to interfere again, she continued, "Octavia is my co-worker. That's all, we're just friends. Look, I have to go call her back to see what she wants, I'll be back," she turned around and left Clarke all alone.

Clarke shook her head in disbelief as tears streamed from her blue eyes. She looked up at the ceiling and let out a shaky sigh, "She's not worth crying about. Come on, Clarke, don't do this to yourself... Love is definitely weakness."

Clarke's pocket started to vibrate, she looked down as she took her phone out, "Anya."

She wiped her tears away as she answered, "Hey, I was about to call you... Um, yeah things were going great but she called... Yeah, I'll be over there in about an hour or so. I'll call you when I'm on my way. Send me the address... Okay, see you then. Bye," she hung up.

Lexa came back into their living room wearing her black skinny jeans and sneakers, she sat next to Clarke, "I have to go. Something came up, you'll probably be asleep by time I get back," she kissed Clarke's cheek. Clarke looked straight ahead at the television screen, avoiding looking at Lexa.

Lexa got up and grabbed her leather jacket, she walked towards the front door and opened it. Lexa looked over her shoulder at Clarke and sighed disappointingly, she turned back around and walked out the house closing the door behind her.

...

Clarke knocked on door, unsure if this was really Anya's house. The door open, Anya smiled, "Clarke, I'm glad you came. I was afraid I gave you the wrong address... then again... I live in the middle of nowhere. Come in, come in! Would you like anything to drink?"

Clarke walked in the house, it felt cozy like how a home is supposed to feel, "Water will be nice."

"Wine it is," she gestured Clarke to her couch. "Make yourself feel at home, I won't be gone for long," she smiled and left to go to the other room.

Clarke sat down and automatically relaxed, "Wow. This couch is really comfortable" she told herself. Clarke looked around Anya's living room and noticed that it's smaller than her house. She wondered how a small house in the middle of the woods could feel so... welcoming.

Anya walked back in the room with two glasses of red wine. "Here you go. I forgot to ask what kind you preferred, but you look like you prefer red wine." She handed Clarke her glass as she sat down next to her giving some distance between them.

Clarke smiled, "Thank you," she took a sip of her drink.

"So..." Anya started, "How are things going with Lexa?"

"Uh... well it's gotten better but not a whole lot. Tonight was the first time in awhile that we actually connected... we were happy. I had my Lexa back. But it all shattered when Octavia called."

Anya nodded, "Do you know why she called?"

Clarke shook her head, "No, Lexa didn't tell me anything. I honestly didn't want to deal with Lexa nor worry about why Octavia called at the time. Apparently she really needed Lexa... A big part of me wants to leave her and let her be happy with Octavia, but there's a small part of me that holding on for dear life. I don't know, I feel stupid for wanting to stay with her. There's this hole in my heart and it's slowly tearing me to pieces... Anya, I don't know what to do."

"Clarke, you're a wonderful girl, hands down. Trust me, this will end and you'll be happy again. You want to stay with her, but you're pushing her away and all she wants is to feel loved."

"I wasn't pushing her away at all tonight till Octavia called," she explained.

"Clarke, you need to talk to her. No distractions. Do whatever it takes to get her alone and just talk to her. You can't be closed up all the time and expect her to know how you're feeling and thinking. Communication is entirely important in a relationship, along with honesty, trust, etcetera."

Clarke nodded as she felt a slight sting in her eyes, a tear fell upon her cheek. "Hey, don't cry..." Anya wiped her tear and cupped her cheek.

Clarke's lip quivered, "I'm scared I'm going to lose her... I don't want to lose her, Anya," she cried out.

"Listen to me, Clarke. You're not going to lose her, she still loves you... she just needs to remember how much you mean to her. Don't let her give up on you, and you mustn't give up on her. Okay?"

Clarke nodded still not fully convinced, "I'm serious, Clarke," Anya said.

"I know you are. Thanks you, Anya. I don't know what I would do without you," Clarke embraces her in a hug.

"I'm glad I can help. If you need anything I'm here for you," she smiled.