Chapter 7
April 5th 2016
Based on the date I'm guessing you can already tell its been while. I love writing in this book but at times I'm just too busy and when I do have free time I'm on social media... I decided to start writing today because its kinda therapeutic. I'm once again have problems with my "friends". I start to wonder sometimes if its me. If I'm the problem, if maybe I'm not good enough for them But then I realize that thats not it. They may believe I'm not good enough for them. I Probably sound desperate and whiny all the time to them. I'm always asking them to hang out and nagging them when they say no, feeling offended but I just want them to realize a few things. And for those of you who have that one friend who always ask you to hang out but you obviously have better things or people to hang out with then this is for you too.
For Those of you who ask "what will we do?" when asked to hang out:
stop! it's honestly annoying. what do you expect to do? go to the movies or buy a whole bunch of food and stuff yourselves? guess what that costs money and even if your friends are well off it doesn't always mean they can go out and buy whatever they want. and it also doesn't mean they can always pay for you. ( one of the reasons why they might be well off is probably because they don't go blow all their money on their friends)
Those of you who think it's ok to cancel last minute:
Listen it's ok if you have a really good reason for it, like you just barfed or someone died but if its just because you don't feel like doing it anymore then thats like a once or twice a year excuse. If you agreed to do something with a friend then be prepared to do that wether its just lunch or if is bungee jumping. you agreed to it which means Ur doing it. if you really don't want to then don't agree in the first place or at least cancel a day or two in advance. if they are last minute plans then try to be nice about and don't just say "sry I don't really wanna any more". because if its for a sleepover they probably already have your bed made up and the popcorn in the microwave. oh yeah and it really sucks to be stud up.
and last but not least, those of you who always say your too busy to hang out yet ur really free or your hanging out with another friend who also happens to be the person who wants to hang out's friend:
I'm going to use a real life example here. Ive asked my friend to hang out about 3 times today and each time she says, " I'm kinda busy" or "I don't really wanna hang out rn" both of those times she was hanging out with my other friend. When she said she was busy she and him where doing the pickle challenge....( suuuuupperr BUSY!) I asked her if she wanted to hang out later and she said no. I asked why she never had time for me, she said "cuz". and then when I told her to please be serious and that she was honestly hurting me she said in the background " here you talk to her!" and then my other friend said " no, I'm good" when she replied " well I don't wanna talk to her!"...some people really need to learn how to press that mute button.
Now that I wrote this all down I'm starting to realize I should probably cut the both out of my life But I'm scared. Im scare that if I do I wont have any friends. I'm scared at if I cut them out they wont even notice because I'm already nothing to them.
Im scared that they will be happier without me.
