What he doesn't know

when he's not looking

When he's not looking I watch him sometimes. Recently I've gotten pretty good at taking photos of him without him noticing. I only have two. He doesn't know I have these two photos because if he did he would insist that I delete them. He hates having his picture taken but I love having his photo in my phone.

Even when we have fights and I say I'm leaving because I feel like I'm not important. It's the times like those when he lets me rant and rant. But then after a few moments of leaving me alone he will send me a text saying he never said I had to leave. That sentence alone is him telling me to come back. Because I do I'll come back and stand far away from him and each time he will say that I don't have to stand.

So I will then sit on the same couch but as  far away as possible from him. I will then be told that I don't have to sit so far away. I always end up back in his arms at the end of the day.

Sometimes when I come home from work and he has the day off and so he'll just be sleeping or laying in his bed; I'll curl up next to him. Just laying there next to him relives the stress from my day at work. Most of the time he's sleeping and wakes up a little bit but falls back asleep. Sometimes he'll wake up and tell me I'm on his blanket and move me so I'm under the blanket with him. Then there are the times that he just pulls me closer to him and lets me sleep next to him.

See he isn't the cuddly type of guy. He likes his own space and time. Thus we have our own beds but in the same room. Also the beds are not big enough for two people. It's rare for when he actually feels like cuddling and I take great advantage of that time. Though there was only one time I was moody and didn't want to cuddle but he did. So he just held me there next to him. He fell asleep and I was still grumpy and tried to get out but he had me wrapped up in the blanket and was laying on mine. So I just grabbed my pillow and amused went to sleep wrapped up next to him. I kind of complained about it in the morning but I mostly enjoyed it. LOL

He doesn't know that sometimes I watch him just because I can and other times I'm studying his features because I am a writer and I might end up using him as character model sometime. To others that know him he's considered an asshole or an annoying brother (his sisters said that not me) but to me he's freaking adorable and a smartass. And smarter then me in so many ways. He's mine. I like knowing the sides of him that no one else gets to know but me. He doesn't know I write about him...but that's just fine with me. ;)