The Titanic: A New Life

Chapter 18

I told Emily, Peter, and Hazel to pack their few belongings I had provided for them, as I packed my own. We were going to seek help from Jillian. I just couldn't do this alone anymore. And if anyone was going to be willing to help, it would be Jillian.
I picked Hazel up and put her on my back so I could carry her to our destination. Being sick would sap up all of her energy, and I didn't want her to collapse or use more energy than she had to.
I then pulled out a crumpled piece of paper as I put on the clothes I had worn when we sailed on the Titanic for the last time.
I had kept myself in shape by running from place to place, but I had grown only slightly in the single year that had passed. I remained average sized, as I had hoped. I was hoping that would allow her to see me as I had been and always would be as I glanced down at the piece of paper.
That old, tearing piece of paper was Jillian's address.
We went from house to house for about half an hour, comparing the address on the slip of paper to the ones beside the doors.
We searched and searched until we came across a bright yellow, cheery looking house on the corner next to the ocean with a matching address. It had ivy vines creeping up the sides of the home made picket fence that surrounded the spacious estate. There was a cobblestone path similar to the streets of the town leading from where we stood to the dark oak door of the house.
"Remember that nice lady who was with us on the rescue ship?" I asked the children as I prepared to tap on the door. They all nodded, Hazel's sickness making her's the weakest of the three.
"This is her house," I explained slowly, so they would understand each careful word I said.
I sucked in a breath before I sharply knocked on the door, prepared for any reaction Jillian could have. The worst thing she could do was pretend not to know who we were or slam the door in our face, refusing to take us in. I expected one of the two.
The door immediately swung open to reveal Jillian, who hadn't changed a bit.
"Lauren?" she asked in confusion and pleasant surprise. I knew it was pleasant because she smiled my way, as if an old friend were returning.
I guess I could have been considered a friend, but I was just a child compared to her.
But I had been told people saw me as an adult, just shorter. I internally shrugged as I hoisted Hazel higher up on my back.
"It's me, Jillian," I confirmed hastily. "And I need your help."
We hurried inside as she moved out of our way, welcoming us into her home.
"What's the matter?" Jillian asked as she bustled along behind us, watching the children with a careful eye.
Peter and Emily stood behind me in the homey room we had entered after I handed Hazel to Emily, who was now carrying her on her back. Jillian continued to examine us as I started unpacking in the single bed bedroom that I assumed we would share.
The children didn't protest, and I told Jillian that we had always shared a bed ever since that horrible night.
"Hazel is sick," I explained simply to Jillian, gesturing to the said child. "I don't have the money to buy her medicine anymore and I realized just how much I needed your help," I admitted reluctantly after I had finished setting everything up in that room, taking my Hazel back in my arms.
My pride was a very important aspect in my life, and damaging my pride made me reluctant to do a lot of the things I had been doing lately.
I had always thought I knew how to take care of myself. Now that I couldn't, I felt useless.
Emily and Peter constantly reminded me I was doing my best to take care of them, but I was running out of ways to keep them afloat, like that night on the raft. I could still remember the cold night air, and the stars above my head, blurred by the many tears that had been in my eyes.
I shook my head to try to remove the memories that were permanently stuck in my head, forever reminding me that I would always lose. But forever was forever; I was scarred.
"So how sick is Hazel?" Jillian asked me, actually caring. After all this time, she was still invested in our lives.
Hazel started coughing to the point where it sounded like she was choking, and her nose was already plugged by congestion. A sore throat didn't help her situation, either.
"Does that answer your question?" I sighed wearily, still hoping to see my youngest live past the age of ten. After all of the things that I had been able to give her and the other two, I wasn't sure if my wish would come true anymore.
"Alright," Jillian stated firmly. "We are going to keep this child alive. I won't let anything happen to her while she's under this roof. I promise. We will take her to the hospital tomorrow, and you are all coming with me."
I beamed at her, knowing she knew I saw them as mine now. She knew I couldn't part with them now. It was too late for that. That chance had slipped away when we were first introduced, and I couldn't turn them down.
When Jillian left, I took a more detailed look around the room she had given us.
Hazel lay on the bed next to the large, circular glass window on the west side of the room, farthest from the door. She was curled up on her side with chattering teeth.
She was too tired to walk anymore, and whatever she had, we had yet to get. We weren't sure if it was contagious. But, if I got it, the other two children would have no one to take them anywhere, to do anything. They would be on their own.
Until that day, I would carry her around and, when I couldn't, Emily would fill in for me.
There was a closet to the left of the window on the wall, the room a perfect square with four stunning ocean green walls. There was also a small white wood table with a small potted white rose close to the door, which was to the right of the window.
Jillian managed to include her ocean theme in the colors of the things she chose. You had to have money to do that. I looked back at the bed to see that the blanket was a blue ombre, with lighter colors at the bottom and lighter ones at the top. The pillows were sea green like the wall, and there were curtains with seashells sewed on in front of the window. There were similar white wood cabinets and shelves lining the other wall.
A perfect guest room.
Our bags were set next to the closet, which I had opened and filled with our garments. And the only belonging we bothered to use when we first arrived at that house was the blanket from the ship that I had wrapped around Emily, only this time it was keeping Hazel from freezing instead.
"Momma, I'm scared," Hazel whispered, fear adding dark shadows to her emerald green eyes.
Memories of Michael came flooding back to me, and a wave of nostalgia shot me back to the past.
"I'm scared, Laurie."
"It's going to be alright... alright..."
I couldn't get lost in the past, lest I missed the future.
I snapped back to the present and what was going to be instead of what could have been and already was.
"I won't let anything happen to you," I promised Hazel with determination, sitting on the side of the small bed next to her, grasping her tiny hand in my slender musician's fingers. "That's a promise."
I sat there and watched the other two children pull out books, a habit formed long ago when they decided they wanted to stay with me. They finally started reading books besides the ones I wrote, although they insisted mine were better than any of the ones they read.
They could only bring a few of their favorites, about three each, so I continued to write stories that came to my mind as easily as moths are drawn to a flame. I enjoyed writing, and it gave me someting to do besides work.
At dinner time, I picked Hazel up on my back and sat her on my lap when we reached the small dining room table, with enough chairs to seat six. The room was illuminated by a single crystal chandelier, and the table was made of some polished, smooth wood of a rich brown.
I knew Jillian had come from the higher class, but I hadn't known she had a chandelier! I bet she didn't even know I was of a higher class than her until I lost my family.
Emily and Peter sat beside me as Jillian sat across from me, daintily laying a napkin down on her lap as she prepared to eat. The two chairs on the side of her were left empty around the circular table.
"Is she feeling any better?" Jillian asked abruptly, watching me rock Hazel gently with an intense concentration,as if trying to take careful mental notes on how to take care of children.
"I'm not sure," I confessed, worried for Hazel as her eyelids drooped and her breath quickened, as if she wasn't getting enough. "I don't think so."
"Don't worry," Jillian consoled me with a reassuring smile, giving me some comfort when usually I would have none. "We're going to the doctor's tomorrow."
I wasn't one hundred percent sure, but I was pretty convinced that this would be Hazel's first time at a doctor's office. The other children, as well.
We went to bed that night, together, as always.
I held Hazel close to my chest as she coughed quietly into her hands, one of my most cherished things in the world that I couldn't lose.
Peter was behind me, back to mine, and Emily was on the outside of Hazel. Mainly because it was her turn to be on the outside, the place no one wanted to be.
The children alternated, never wanting me to move from the middle so they felt safe.
The bed was barely large enough to hold all four of us, but we made room by turning on our sides.
When we woke the next morning, Jillian informed us it was 7:30 A.M., and that we needed to get ready to go to the hospital for Hazel's diagnosis.
We all put on new clothes that Jillian had laid out on the end of the bed and, apparently, just bought the night before. I guess she went shopping while we slept.
Hazel wore a little lavender dress that enhanced her eyes with a white crocheted coat, and I brushed her curls out to the best of my ability with a comb Jillian had lent me before putting it in two low pigtails. I tied a white piece of ribbon around her waist to make the dress look like that of a princess.
We topped off her look with a matching purple hat that made her look happy while still shading her face from the damaging rays of the sun.
I helped Hazel put on matching light purple shoes after I put on my own white dress. I saw white as a sign of purity and hoped that, if I was pure enough, Hazel would be kept alive. I guess Jillian was think no the same thing.
I carefully placed Hazel on my back so she wouldn't fall before I gave my other two children nods of approval.
Emily wore a pastel pink dress that reached just above her ankles, complimenting her aqua eyes and fair skin. Her hair was pulled up and back in a way that flattered her face.
Peter grabbed her hand in black dress pants and a royal blue shirt, looking better than he ever had under my guidance. I was happy they finally got what they deserved, even if I was a little jealous of Jillian for being able to give them what I couldn't. And that was the best.
When we were ready, Jillian told us we were walking.
We turned block after block as I switched from carrying Hazel to Peter, Emily carrying Hazel when Peter's legs got tired. I had shown Emily how to correctly carry Hazel a while back, just in case something like this happened in time.
This cycle continued as Jillian glanced back at us to make sure we were still following her, getting a little more tired with every step we took. I counted thirty two blocks when we finally came across a white building with a red cross on it.
After passing houses of better and better quality, and the ocean I would never forget, we had reached the hospital.
When we walked inside, we were greeted by a woman with a warm smile. Jillian introduced her as the nurse who would show us to the doctor.
"This woman is my cousin, Joy."