In the Light

Chapter Forty-Three: Baby!Cas

Ruby left the hospital that day against medical advice; she had to sign an AMA form. There was no point in staying if Castiel could just heal her when the spell wore off him.

Unfortunately, the spell didn't wear off as fast as they hoped. Ruby didn't mind much though. Cas was adorable. He was quiet; he never cried. Instead of buying a crib, they just let him sleep in Dean's arms. He was really good with Cas.

Ruby was in a lot of pain. Ibuprofen and Tylenol didn't help, and Sam wouldn't let her take anything stronger. The only thing that seemed to help was holding Cas, but even that was difficult because of the cuts on her wrists from the ropes. Whenever Dean needed to sleep, Ruby took over caring for Cas. She got to hold him and feed him. Of course, she had to stay in bed the whole time. It really made her look forward to being a mom.

Ever since she found out she was pregnant, she felt different. She moved more carefully and took better care of herself. Although, she was feeling pretty depressed lately. It was easier to hide with everything that was going on. Helping out with Cas made her feel better.

Sam took really good care of Ruby, but he wouldn't let her do anything. Her ankle was probably broken; she couldn't put any weight on it. He didn't want her to shower, but there was no way she would take a bath in some gross motel bathtub. So, she leaned against the side and Sam washed her hair. He wouldn't even sleep in the same bed as her. He said he was afraid that he would hit her foot in the middle of the night.

• • •

"Cas had better change back pretty soon because this is getting annoying," Ruby said through gritted teeth. Sam was checking all her wounds again. Something in her ankle felt really wrong; she couldn't even move it anymore. Sam tried to move it to see how it was, but she screamed at him because of the pain.

There was a knock on the door and Mary came in. "Hey, maybe you need a little break, huh?"

"Ha, a break," Ruby said bitterly. "That's fitting." Sam just left the room, closing the door behind him.

"He hates seeing you in pain," Mary pointed out. "I brought another ice pack," she added.

"I don't want it. It just makes it worse."

"Do you want me to bring Cas in?"

So Mary had noticed how Cas helped her. "Does Dean need to sleep?"

"I'm sure he does, but he won't admit it. I'll go get him."

A few minutes later, Ruby had baby Cas in her arms. He held tight to her finger with his little ones. She stroked his hand with her thumb. Mary sat down on the bed next to Ruby and gently took her hand from Cas. The cuts on her wrists were deep and jagged.

While Mary cleaned the cuts, Ruby touched her forehead to Castiel's, breathing in his scent. She jerked suddenly when Mary put more alcohol on her wrist. "Sorry, sorry. I'm done with this one."

Ruby focused on Cas. He was so sweet. His full lips were smiling and he cooed. She moved him to the other side carefully and he kicked his legs. It was so strange. Castiel was always so serious, so seeing him as a tiny baby was different.

Mary finally finished with the cuts and Ruby's body relaxed into the wall. She let out the breath she'd been holding in. "What were Sam and Dean like as babies?" Ruby asked, making conversation.

"Dean was a handful as a baby. He always wanted attention; he cried a lot. Sam wasn't as bad, and Dean was a great big brother to him. Anytime Sam would cry, Dean would run over and comfort him. It usually worked. Dean had to take care of Sam a lot when they were younger." Mary trailed off.

"I hope you don't feel guilty," Ruby said. "You wanted to give them a good, normal life, but all of this follows you around. You couldn't escape it. You're meant to be a hunter, and so are your sons. You should be proud of how they turned out."

"Thanks, Ruby. Speaking of, have you and Sam decided what you're going to do?"

"I want to keep hunting. It wouldn't feel right to stop. I couldn't live with myself if I knew about all the evil in the world and didn't stop it. I hope Sam feels the same. It's a lot to think about, and we have time. I don't want to think about it yet. I feel like the present is already hard enough as it is." She tickled the baby's chest.