Howls of the Lost | Now Published!

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

She was staying.

That was all that mattered to Xander at the moment. Torian wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, that much he had made sure of.

He growled as the image of the tawny eyed boy from her pack popped into his head again. The boy had been the one to try and take Torian away from him the very first time Xander had met her. Had it not been for her, Xander would have killed the boy. This had been the second time he had interfered, and if he did it again the vampire didn't know if he'd be able to restrain himself.

The third times the charm.

For the first time in weeks, Raven was absent from the area. He was guessing that smacking her had hurt her pride more than anything, but he couldn't bother to care anymore. Torian was possessing every part of his mind. Why? He didn't know. There was just something about her that had him hypnotized.

He stood from the cot and paced back and forth. He could feel her slipping into sleep through their connection, and he wanted to bring her to him again. He couldn't seem to shake her image from his mind. All of a sudden, memories flooded forward from the back of his brain. A pair of emerald eyes and a dazzling smile framed by mahogany hair replaced Torian's face and Xander found himself gasping for air.

Why was he thinking of her now? After nearly two years he would have thought he would have accepted what he had done, but her screams still haunted him. The love changing to fear as the life faded from her jeweled eyes . . .

Shaking his head, Xander attempted to clear it. Regret hit him hard enough to steal his breath, and he knew that only one person could heal the aching in his heart at that time. Whether she liked it or not, Torian had a calming effect on him that even he didn't understand. Even though she could also infuriate him faster than anyone as well.

With a deep sigh, he focused on the connection he felt with Torian. Her steady pulse began to pound in his ears the harder he concentrated. Breathing evenly, he envisioned her there with him, and before he knew it, he was asleep and sharing a dream with none other than the she-wolf herself. After only a few seconds her eyes fluttered open. Irritation flashed across her face as she sat up, her crystal blue eyes already searching for him. Using his enhanced speed, he positioned himself right behind her.

"I'm right here, darling," he breathed in her ear.

Her mocha waves fell in her face as she whipped around to face him. "What do you want?" she snarled.

"I thought I had made that abundantly clear," he murmured, chuckling lightly as he reached for her.

"Stay away from me," she threatened, the smallest amount of fear flickering in her eyes before it was gone.

"Tori, calm down," he said, moving to sit next to her. She flinched away from him before recovering and steeling herself where she sat. Xander could practically watch the wall go up in front of her eyes. She was shutting herself off. "I won't hurt you," he murmured.

"Like I haven't heard that one before," she scoffed, lowering her gaze to her hands where they lay fidgeting with the hem of her t-shirt.

Xander sighed before changing the subject. "You're not still planning on leaving, are you?" he questioned.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "You spared David. I'll hold up my end of the deal. I'm not going anywhere."

"Tori, look at me," he insisted. He needed to see her, and he couldn't when she was hiding from him. She stubbornly kept her eyes down. Grumbling unintelligibly under his breath, the vampire reached forward and tilted her face up to his. "Thank you for staying," he said, hoping she could hear the sincerity in his voice.

She nodded curtly before jerking her chin from his hand. "Is that all you wanted?" she asked, her annoyance with him clear in her tone.

"No," he responded, leaning away from her in an attempt to calm her down. It seemed to work because she visibly relaxed. "I needed a distraction," he admitted.

This seemed to peak her curiosity. She sat up straighter and leaned slightly forward. "Why?" she inquired.

He could see her interest in the subject as plain as day. She genuinely wanted to know what was bothering him. Smiling softly, he turned away from her gaze to stare at the wall. "Regrets never leave," he told her, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice. "No matter how much you try to forgive yourself for something, it's never fully gone."

"What is it that you regret?" she asked.

"Logan and I have more history than you know," he said, turning back to her. "We've always hated each other, but the hatred runs deeper than we've told you."

'Would you stop speaking in riddles?" she huffed in exasperation. "What are you two hiding from me?" she asked with narrowed eyes.

Xander knew he had already said too much. He didn't want to go back to that time in his life. Even though he was dying to tell her and get it off his chest, he couldn't make himself say the words. He almost felt as if it wasn't his place.

"Xander?" she asked, waving her hand in front of his face. The gesture made a genuine smile spread across his face. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, he knew that deep down she cared about him. He just needed to bring it to the surface as fast as possible so that she would stray from Logan.

"Yes?" he finally said, realizing she was waiting for him to speak.

"Are you going to tell me or not?" she asked.

"Not."

"Xander!" The child-like whine that she let out was enough to actually draw a laugh from the vampire.

"All in due time, darling," he told her softly, reaching out to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I hate you," she muttered, glaring at him. She hadn't flinched away from his touch this time, which was an improvement. "All these secrets aren't going to get you anywhere, you know."

As he opened his mouth to speak, the distant sound of Logan's voice carried to them. Xander gritted his teeth in frustration. Why did that dog have the worst possible timing? Sighing, he began to let the connection to Torian's dream slip from his mind. "Until next time," he murmured as her pulse began to pound in his ears again before the entire image faded to black.

When Xander opened his eyes, he was alone in the cave. Torian was gone

Sighing, he picked himself up from the floor where he had fallen and dusted himself off. He needed to find a way to get Torian alone in the near future. At the thought, he nearly smacked himself in the face. She bore his mark, he could call her to him at any time he wanted. Granted, he didn't know what effect it would have on her, but it was worth a shot.

Sighing, Xander stood and began to pace again. As it stood, he believed that he and Torian were on okay terms, and he didn't want to ruin that just yet. So, he decided that he would wait for a while before putting his plan into action. He knew he wouldn't last long, but he had to try.

For her sake.

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Super short, but some Xander time for ya.

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<3Always

-KC