Crush x Reader (On Hold)

Chapter 22: I Care About You

I was at my locker, packing up, when (c/n) spoke. He said, "You know what my biggest fear is?" 

I shook my head 'no' and asked, "What is it?" 

"That when I try to kill myself, I'll end up accidentally paralyzing myself and I won't be able to do it. So I'll have to do something quick, like jumping off of a building." 

What he said caught me off-guard. I just sat there for a moment, staring deep into his eyes, trying to see if he was just making a messed up joke. He showed no signs that he was kidding. I eventually said, in a small voice, "Don't you dare ever try to kill yourself." 

"Not everybody is like you, (y/n)," he said, standing up to leave. "Not everybody likes their life." He then turned and walked over to (c/b/f/n). 

I didn't know what to say. I was taken a back. I wanted to help him because I cared so much about him. It hurt to see him suffering and struggling on his own, but I held back. Not yet.. I still don't know what he's dealing with. I may not be able to help him, but I will try everything within my power. 

At home, I asked around the house if anyone knew where to find a certain questionnaire with a series of 'yes or no' questions about what he seemed to be dealing with. And if any of the questions were answered, 'yes,' then the program would be helpful to whoever was reading. They all said that it should either be at my school or at the program itself. My mom gave me a few cards to potentially give him if I wanted. I took them to keep in my backpack, and planned to give one to him if his situation applied to the program. 

Time skip to the next afternoon:

Should I give him a card? No, not yet. He might get the wrong idea if that's not his situation. Yeah, tomorrow. Besides, maybe he was just in a bad mood yesterday. 

Just then, I was yanked from my thoughts by, "Do you know where to find a bleach dealer?" 

I slowly turned my head to face his. "....Bleach dealer.." I repeated. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

"You know, someone who illegally sells bleach," he said, blank-faced. 

I softly snickered. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure it's not illegal to sell bleach. Convenience stores probably just don't sell it to minors." 

"Convenience stores, huh? Thanks." 

He stood up and started to walk to his friend's locker. As he did, I meekly said, "That's... not what I meant, okay?" 

He turned around to make sure I was paying attention to what he was saying. "Like I told you yesterday, not everyone is like you and likes their life." 

He started to walk away again, but I stopped him. "I know. I may never fully understand everything you're feeling right now, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. I do care about you. In fact, I worry about you. What you've been saying lately has been seriously scaring me and I don't know what I'd do with myself if I just stood around and let you die." 

I'm sorry, but I don't wanna continue this story. It's not the type of story I like to write, so I'm just gonna stop here. That's part of the reason why It took so long to come out. Also, I draw a lot of inspiration from small experiences with my own crush, and I don't currently have one. Therefore, it becomes harder to write when there's no inspiration. Finals and stuff was also to blame! And with that, I bit you ado. See ya in the next chapie my lovelies! <3 

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