Hush

8

"Oh God, Braden!" I yelp, my back arching and tears coming to my eyes. I'd never felt anything like this before, it hurt in so many ways.

"Just...a little...more." he says, his voice rough and a bit huskier as he keeps pushing it in. I cry out again but soon the pain is over and I'm left with a euphoria type of feeling.

"There we go, remember, no walking. No standing." He says, wiping the sweat off of his forehead as he stands back. "And for gods sake be careful!" He growls the last part. I sit up and see that he'd put my broken leg back in place. The skin was still very bruised and messed up looking, you could see where the bone had broken off at. "Just got to put the cast on now." He hums, going over to his cabinet, searching in it.

"I'm sorry," I whimper, looking down. He comes over to me with the things for the cast, giving me a sympathetic look as he plants a small kiss on my forehead. Lately he'd been doing that, but I've gotten used to it.

"Its okay, Val." He says softly, putting a hand on my cheek. He sets my leg up and does the necessary things to make the cast. I winced sometimes, but didn't move or try to stop him.

"I'm sorry," I say again. "I just wanted to help..."

"Babe, you aren't strong enough." He says, causing my cheeks to brighten. He'd been calling me babe for a while now, too, and I didn't even do anything. It was worthless to try to stop him.

"I want to be..." I say sadly, looking down again. I hated being weak and not being able to help him. I mean, yeah he kidnapped me but for fucks sake this was driving me insane. He wouldn't let me do anything still after a year!

"I'm sorry Valen but for fucks sake people could still be looking and I don't want you to be caught. I don't want to let you go," he says sternly. I sigh and look at my clasped hands. I felt so useless now. I mean, I was doing my own exercises, running, pushups, pull ups, sit ups. But that didn't seem to be enough. I mean, how was I supposed to know that the box weighed over three hundred pounds when I didn't have any way to build muscle? Maybe he was afraid I'd get stronger than him and try to fight him. I'm not that stupid...

He sighs and stands closer, positioning himself between my legs and resting his hands on my shoulders. I kook up at him with sad eyes and see him frowning. I can also see him holding something back. After a year I've gotten good at reading him. His eyes would get darker and I could see him clenching his jaw when he was keeping himself from doing something he figured would be a bad idea.

All I did was nod. "Yes yes I know, 'you're doing it to protect me, everything you do is to protect me'." I supply before he can. He seems even more unhappy when I did that and I felt a tightening in my chest. He steps away and moves to get me some crutches.

"Be careful." He says quietly, his voice and face holding no emotion as he handed them to me. I nod and stand, positioning myself on the crutches as best I could. To be honest I'd only used these things once before. I was seven and I fell off the roof of the house we lived in at the time. God I'm still a clumsy mess.

"I'm going to go take a nap." I mumble, not looking at him as I make my way from the small makeshift hospital room.

Once I reached the living room the tv caught my attention...

"The search for young Valentine Smith has been fully called off. The family of the young man is still distraught and the young man's school is holding another memorial for him. It is truely touching and sad how much the community cares for him..."

They were looking for me... but they gave up? Its only been a year. There are people that have searched for thirty years and I only deserve a year? Where's Avi? Is she still looking? She had to be right..? She cared about me still right? She was the only one that cared about me. Maybe she didn't? What if it was all fake? What if she wanted nothing to do with me?

I felt the room spinning around me, the thoughts in my mind jumbling together as I tried to make sense of what was happening.

"Valen?" I hear Braden from behind me. The left crutch seems to disappear and I feel myself falling. The impact on the soft carpet didn't hurt, or didn't register.

"Valentine are you okay?" He asks frantically, leaning over me and looking me over to see if I'd injured myself again.

I feel tears prick my eyes and a lump in my throat. They'd abandoned me. They gave up on me. They didn't care. They never cared. He was right, they never cared. How could I know his all along but it still affect me this bad? I felt like my world was going to shatter and everything around me was going to dissolve into a hell keep of horrid monsters all designed especially to make me miserable. I let out a sob and feel the tears stream down my face like a waterfall. How could they do this to me? What had I ever done to them? I tried my best! I always tried my best and this is what I get?!

"Valen, hun, talk to me!" Braden begs, trying to wipe the tears away, but there were too many to keep up with. My body was shaking with the power of my sobs, every single memory of them resurfacing. What did I ever fucking DO!?

"Valen stay conscious, come on don't pass out on me." He begs, slapping my face lightly. How did he know the world around me was darkening, that his voice was getting farther and farther away?

"They never cared," I cried out. He glances at the tv and scowls. He pulls me into his lap and rocks me back and forth.

"They cared, Val. They had to. They wouldn't have looked if they didn't." He says, taking me by surprise. I wanted to ask why he'd lie about it but the world faded quickly into black, silence overtaking my body as anguish overtook my mind.