Hush

10

Valen

After I finally got my hair bleached and dyed I sigh and sit back, looking at it. It didn't look that bad. To be honest, it looked great. I smile at my handy work and finish blow drying it, running a hand through it, letting it pretty much style itself.

I stand, using my crutches and open the door to Bradens room and step out with a slight groan. I was sore from holding myself up in strange ways in the shower to get everything to work well. I make my way downstairs and hear conversation coming from the kitchen. A frown pulls at my lips. I didn't like the idea of company, especially if they're staying for a while. If I was recognized then Braden would be screwed. They'd throw him in prison so fast. I should want that though...but I don't. I think...no. No.

"Braden..." I say, a slight whine in my voice. I hear their conversation stop and I see him come out with a smaller man following behind him. The man had blonde hair and green eyes and a strangely hopeful and disappointed look on his face.

"Yeah Chris?" He says. It takes me a moment to realize why he'd said Chris but I quickly caught on.

"My leg hurts..." I say, looking down at the throbbing appendage. I'd done allot of things I shouldn't have, like crawl, stand, try to walk. Braden would kill me.

"What did you do to it?" He asks,  exasperation clear in his voice. He shifted my weight some and glanced away.

"Well, I kind of tried to walk on it for a moment and stood on it in the shower." I admit, chewing on my lip.

He groaned and shook his head. "Chris..." He mumbled, rubbing his face. I frown and roll my eyes before they land back on the other male. He seemed uncomfortable and jealous. The jealousy was pouring off of him. But he also seemed interested in something about me. It made me uncomfortable. What if he knew? What if he suspected.

"Go to the living room or something and I'll get you some pain meds. Be careful okay?" He says and I nod. I turn and make my way back to the room, chewing my lip. I didn't like that guy. He unsettled me and for some reason I couldn't shake the feeling of jealousy that was burning through me.

I wasn't jealous though, why would I be? I don't love him or like him in that way. Maybe it was because the new man would probably get more attention then him. What if he... Got rid of me... And replaced me... With him?

I feel tears sting my eyes and I sit on the bed, head down. I didn't want to be replaced... Not again. If I was replaced by that man then... Braden would kill me. He would have to. He wouldn't trust me not to tell.

But I wouldn't tell, I couldn't.

"Valen you okay?" I hear Braden ask. I nod and blink away the tears, turning to him.

"My leg just hurts, that's all." I say, giving him a small smile. He sighs, knowing I'm lying.

"Here take this, it'll make the pain subside for a while and it'll make you tired," He says. A shot of skepticism goes through me and I narrow my eyes for a small second before taking it and the water he held out. I know for damn sure that he has some that won't make me tired, he's given me them before. Why now? Is he afraid I'll ask the man for help or something? Or is he going to do something I won't like all to much and doesn't want me awake when it happens? I shut my mind down and reposition myself on the bed, staring at the wall.

"Valen what's wrong?" He asks, sitting down at the foot. I clench my jaw but look at him nonetheless.

"Nothing. Why do you keep trying to think something's wrong?" I snap. He sighs and stands, shaking his head before walking out.

He was getting tired of me. I knew it. Soon Valentine Smith won't even be remembered by him either because he'll kill me and replace me. He already has replaced me with whoever the hell that man is, now he just has to get rid of me.

I feel a stab of longing. I wanted to do something I haven't done in a year. Something Braden would kill me if he knew I even thought about it. Hell, didn't he take them all out of the house to make sure I couldn't? I close my eyes and sigh as I get up. Just one won't hurt anything, he'll never know.

I make my way to the bathroom and turn on the shower, shutting and locking the door. I search through everything till I finally find one. Relief spread through me and I smile some,  shutting the lid of the toilet and sitting on it.

He still checks my chest for them, afraid I'll somehow manage to start that again. So I lifted my pants leg and use the small silver object to create a small slice in the sensitive skin of my thigh. I hiss in pain and bite my lip.

Then I made one more, longer.

Then another, even longer.

Then another.

One cut,
Two cuts,
Three cuts,
Four.
Come on darling,
What's one more?
Five cuts,
Six cuts,
Seven cuts,
Eight.
Oh, what a mess this this will create.

But I didn't stop at only a measly eight. I kept going, faster, longer, and deeper into my thigh until my hands were shaking.

After ten minutes of slicing my thigh and felt the effects of the pill kicking in. The pain was dying down and I was getting sleepy. I quickly clean up the mess and manage to find something to patch it up with to stop the bleeding from showing through and fix my pant leg. I stand and turn the water off, making sure to get my hair a bit wet so I'd look like I got in. I left the room and laid back down, falling asleep quickly.