Hush

9

I slowly wake up to a dark room. I glance around and see that there was a figure on the other side of the bed. Braden. Right. I sigh and roll over on my side, keeping my mouth shut as the tears started streaming down my face again. I was such a failure. My own parents and sister gave up on me. They didn't care enough to look for me. I'm just a useless waste of space. I sniffle some and feel him shift beside me. I close my eyes and try to relax some. He rolls over and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

"Valen..." He whispers. Just that made me sob. I curl up and put my hands over my face, sobbing again.

"Why? Why doesn't anyone care?" I ask. He kisses my head as he rubs my back, trying to calm me down.

"I care, Valen-"

"You don't fucking count! You kidnapped me you fuck! You held me captive and you still are! You don't fucking care the way I need! You see me as a fucking prize! Something that you have because you were the winner, the one to get to me first!" I yell at him, sitting up and turning to face him. "You only care enough to have kidnapped me and now what? Huh? I'm not doing what you want me to do! I'm not giving in and soon you're gonna get rid of me! I can see it already! You aren't gonna get what you want out of me and you're gonna get rid of me and find someone else!"

He sits up, an angry look on his face. "Listen, Valentine. You may think that but I'm the only reason you're alive. I'm the reason you have what you do now. I'm the reason why you have a second chance. I care more than any of them ever did. You are a prize. Just look at you. You're perfect in every way and people were trying to hurt you, make you damaged. I just protected you from that. And I'm not gonna get tired of you, you're too wonderful to ever be tired of. Yes I am not getting what I hoped I would but when and if it does happen then it'll make it better. You may not understand yet but I hope one day you will." He says before he gets up and leaves. I yell for him to wait and come back, but he doesn't.

I slide off the bed and crawl over to a corner, the farthest one from the bed, and curl up there, sobbing like the baby I am. Of course he would leave. They always leave.

A song comes to mind and I calm myself down enough to sing some of it in a broken and shakey voice.

"Lost and insecure,
You found me.
You found me,
Lying in the floor,
Surround me.
Surround me.
Just a little late...
Where were you?
Where were you?
Why'd you have to wait,
You found me.
You found me..."

I sing quietly, feeling myself relax. Singing always had that effect on me, just music in general could change my mood entirely.

I know he cares. I really do. But he doesn't ever show it. All he does is say he cares and runs away when I challenge it. Maybe it's for the best though...maybe he's trying to keep himself from doing something he'd regret. I just needed him right now, more than ever, and he runs away.

"Braden... please come back." I whimper, not expecting him to show up. And of course he didn't. And he won't. Not for another twenty four hours if I'm lucky. The longest he left was a week...God...that week...

I manage to crawl my way back to the bed and climb up, only mildly hurting my leg in the process. I curled up under the blanket and and cried myself to sleep, like I did when I got here.

Braden

Why does he have to be so difficult? I'm only trying to help him! Why can't he see that? Of course he was a prize! The best prize there is! I do care! I can't be tired of him!

...

I sigh and hold my head in my hands, images of things I shouldn't have done filling my mind.

Maybe I was getting tired of him...

Nicole, Veronica, Zach, Devin, Caleb...I slept with all of them more than once in the past year because I couldn't get it out of Valen.

I was getting sick of his denial. How he'd let me kiss him and we'd get close, but he'd just run away.

He can't run away now though...

No! What am I thinking? I can't do that to him! He'd hate me forever if I did and I can't have that.

I stand and walk into the kitchen to get a beer but my phone rings. I pick it up and answer with an exhausted hello.

"Hello, Braden?" It was Zach.

"Yes Zach? What do you need?" I ask, opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle.

"Can I stay at your place for a bit?" He asks, I drop the bottle and am thoroughly happy and surprised it doesn't shatter. I pick it up and set it on the counter, leaning against the white marble top.

"What? Why would you need to?" I ask quickly, glancing up toward the room. If he cane here he'd be all over me and Valen would see and it would only prove him more right. He'd hate me and he'd try to leave again. Or what if Zach goes after Valen? I'd kill him. No one can have my love.

"Zach I don't think-"

"Please Braden! Only for a month or so! I really need this man, my house caught on fire and I have to find a place to stay so I can work on getting a new place." He begs, causing me to slam my head on the counter. I couldn't say no. God and what if he recognizes Valen? Then I'm really screwed!

"Fine, you can stay. How far away are you?" I ask him, giving in.

"About thirty minutes." He says and I sigh in relief.

"Okay, I'll be here when you get here," I say and hang up. I grab my keys and run from the house, hopping in my car and speeding off down the long drive way and turning out onto the road. Valen couldn't be easily recognized.

When I get to Walmart, which was the only place open. I run in and buy some bleach and red hair dye, hoping I could do this without injuring the poor kid. I buy it and run back to my car, speeding back to the house to see I only had about ten minutes before Zach was supposed to arrive. I run up to my room to see Valen sound asleep, tear stains on his face. It pulled at my hear to see him like that but I couldn't think about that right now.

"Valen wake up." I demand, shaking his shoulder. His eyes open and they're a haze of pain and tiredness. "We're gonna bleach your hair and dye it red." Tell him and he sits up immediately, giving me a look as if I were crazy.

"Why would we do that?" He asks me, glaring at me. My heart clenched and I could tell he was still angry with me, and I didn't blame him one bit.

"A friend of mine is coming over to stay for a bit. They lost their place in a fire so I can't just say no. So I have to change how you look okay?" I say sternly. He rolls his eyes and shrugs and I groan. I wasn't in the mood to deal with his attitude right now.

Once we get everything set up he says he can handle it and I let him. I walk out and clean some stuff up around the house. When I hear the doorbell ring I sigh, rubbing my hands together.

I quickly make my way to the door and open it with a bright smile plastered on my face. "ZACH!" I laugh, pulling him into a hug. He smiles and laughs with me but I could tell he was tense; I was too.

"Thanks so much man, I really need this. I'll pay you back in any way you want," He says. I knew what he ment by that too. Sex. He'd pay me with his body. But I couldn't accept it, not with Valen here. Hell, I shouldn't be trying to do this at all with others! I sigh and nod and he pulls me into a kiss.

I know I've been gone for a while but I got a new job as a life guard and I don't get home till like nine at night. Sorry guys.