The only hope for me is you

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Part I

Song is The only hope for me is you from My Chemical Romance. Hope you enjoy.

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It was a long ass night. As I stumble the way to my appartment, drunk like hell, I couldn't think straight at all. The evening and night was full of drinking and drugs. The things that made me forget the Desaster, called my life.

I almost break down my door in the attempt to enter my appartment, but eventually I can let myself in. I throw the keys on the ground and start to undress myself on the way to my bedroom. I almost fall over a bag in the door of my room, cursing it. The dim light of my computer screen lights the room. I throw a too big shirt over me and sit down. I can't even look right, but the computer is, after alcohol and dope, my best friend.

I see the chat window I always have open, blinking.

Snoops: Are you back?

Snoops: Damn it. Still not back?

Snoops: You better crushed on your bed without telling me you're back!

Snoops: Giving up. If you don't say anything till 1 pm today I'm calling someone to look at your apartment!

The last message was written half an hour ago.

HolyMary: Chill, dumbass! I'm here. I'm okay. Stop being a pussy.

I click on send and start to search something to drink. I find a coke bottle, half full of a coke and rum mix. Cheerful I look at the screen again. Snoop is writing....
Yeah, if I had bet on it, I would have won it. He barely sleeps at all.

Snoops and I met a couple of month ago on an Internet platform. We've written every day since then. Actually, I think he is the only one who understands me. He's broken too. He had been hurt so many times. We told the other almost everything from each other. And now, we are the ones that care for the other one the most.

It gives a light bing and I look at the screen again, taking a good sip out of the bottle.

Snoops: Holy shitballs! Never ever do that again! Your mobile isn't available and you weren't replying! I got scared to shit!

HolyMary: You shouldn't be. I'm a.... what do I want to write.....

Snoops: You're drunk again. I can sense it....

HolyMary: What if... you know I love you to death, but you're only virtually there for me. I need a hug so badly. Booze wraps his arms so perfectly around me. It's warm. I don't care if it's a drunken warmth.

Snoops: Okay, here's the deal.... We'll meet up tomorrow.

I start to cough as I choke on my drink. We've never met in person. We didn't even Skype or facetimed. He told me he has some social issues and doesn't want to be seen. I respected that.

HolyMary: Erm.... okay?

Snoops: I mean today. It's long after midnight.

Holy Shit. He means it for real. I take another sip out of the bottle and sigh.

Snoops: But you have to promise me one thing: You can't look at me till I say so.

I think about it. I can understand his feelings. His social phobia is very big. And... I don't care what he looks like. He is my only hope.

HolyMary: Sure thing. Think you're just a lame ass anyway. ;)

I don't mean that. And he knows. He knows that I hide my insecurity with being loud and an asshole. I'm not so good at social things either.

Snoops: Charge your mofo phone. I'll write you where and when.... after my panik attack stoped. Love you, crab cake. Go to sleep.... Now!

HolyMary: Aye.

I obey. Like I always do. It was not long after, that I drifted into a deep dreamless sleep.

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